


The Conspiracy

by LucindaAM



Series: Write For Me [15]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Swearing, Mostly Fluff, Vague mentions of a panic attack, angst if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27495163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucindaAM/pseuds/LucindaAM
Summary: Based on this prompt:"Prompt: Bucky has never gone to an Ikea. He gets lost in the endless superstores maze and becomes convinced it's a psychological experiment, designed and perpatrated by the Swedish government."Subsequent chapters based on requests. Requests are currently closed.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Write For Me [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997872
Comments: 348
Kudos: 107





	1. The IKEA

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NevermoreBlack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevermoreBlack/gifts).



> I know I say this a lot. But that's 'cuz it's often true.
> 
> I CACKLED writing this. So much fun! Thanks NevermoreBlack for the prompt! XD

You finally found him glaring at one of the cardboard props that was supposed to represent a flatscreen TV. “Oh, Bucky. Thank Thor I found you.” You cried in relief as you slammed into him and wrapped your arms around his waist. You let your heartbeat calm as you breathed in his familiar smell. 

You hadn’t been worried HYDRA had taken him while your back was turned. No. Not at all. 

Bucky wrapped one arm around your back and started hustling you out of the couch section. “We need to go.” He said, keeping his voice low. 

You glanced at him in surprise as he picked up his pace until you were practically jogging to keep up. Curse your short legs. 

“Buck?” You asked, tugging on his arm. “Slow down!” 

Bucky shook his head and pulled his baseball hat lower over his eyes. He was glancing around as though he was terrified that someone was going to pop out of one of the room displays and attack. 

You dug your feet into the ground and pulled on his arm until he finally came to an abrupt stop. He let out a sigh and turned to you. He murmured your name in warning. 

You shook your head and dropped his arm, folding your own across your chest. “What the hell is going on?” You demanded. You watched the way his eyes flicked around the store and the way his hand twitched towards his pocket where you knew for a FACT he’d hidden a knife when he thought you weren’t looking. 

Your eyes widened and you stepped closer. You lowered your voice as you leaned towards him. “Is it HYDRA?” You asked, desperately fighting the instinct to glance around the store. Your heart kicked into overdrive again and your own arms relaxed, and you casually stroked the bracelet on your wrist that would turn into an Iron Man style gauntlet if you activated it. 

Bucky’s eyes narrowed and he shook his head. “Worse.” He grunted. 

You blinked hard in surprise and leaned backwards abruptly. “Worse?” You hissed. “Worse than mother-flipping HYDRA???” 

Bucky lunged towards you and grabbed your hand again as he pulled you through the maze of furniture samples in a seemingly random direction. “We need to move.” He ordered. 

You struggled to keep up with him as he lead you deeper and deeper into the endless maze that made up IKEA. “Bucky.” You started. 

Bucky shook his head firmly and tugged on you even faster. His hand curled over yours so tightly you were starting to wonder just how much pressure it would take to crack a bone. 

“Bucky.” You tried again. 

The two of you stumbled to a fork in the road. Bucky glanced this way and that before he tugged your hand and rushed you towards the kitchen displays. 

“Bucky!” You hissed. 

Bucky didn’t seem to be listening as you rushed past dozens of confused shoppers. 

You were about to dig your feet into the floor again when Bucky suddenly came to an abrupt halt. 

You slammed into his back with an ‘oof’ and almost crashed to the floor. It was only thanks to your quick reflexes that you managed to grab onto the back of Bucky’s jacket and stop your downward decent. 

You shook your head and tried to clear it before you stepped out from behind your boyfriend and glanced at what had frozen him in place. 

A confused looking woman in a blue shirt and khakis was looking at you. “Hi.” She said. 

Bucky reached down and snagged your hand again as he subtly tried to shove you behind him. You rolled your eyes and pulled out of his grasp as you took a deliberate step in front of Bucky. You ignored the way his hand shot out and gripped the back of your jacket as though he was ready to throw you out of the way at the first sign of fishiness. You felt him reach into his pocket and pull out his knife. He pressed the tip of it against your back, signaling his intention to stab first and ask questions later. 

You panicked. “Hi! How are you?!” Your voice sounded high pitched and definitely had the tone of someone who had just gotten got doing something they weren’t supposed to. 

The woman’s gaze narrowed, no doubt wondering what the hell you and Bucky had been up too. Her face screamed ‘I don’t get paid enough for this shit’ and ‘If I find one more turd in the fake toilets, I’m going to KILL someone.’ 

Bucky’s knife slid away from your back but you felt him tense behind you, ready to spring into attack and you panicked again. 

“HAHAHA!” You started laughing randomly. 

The woman’s eyes bugged out of her head and you couldn’t say that you blamed her for that reaction. You begged yourself to calm the hell down. 

You abruptly cut off your laughter and turned entirely too serious. The woman cleared her throat and actually took a step back. Bucky let out the smallest sigh of relief. He was still too on edge though. You needed to get him out of here. Fast. 

“I’M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK!” You yelled. 

A pin drop could have been heard as every other eye on the floor turned to you abruptly. Bucky’s grip on your jacket tightened and you could have sworn you heard the adrenaline that was suddenly flooding his veins. 

“I . . . I’m sorry?” The woman offered slowly. 

You nodded jerkily as you eyed your exits. “I NEED TO LEAVE.” You were still screaming, but you couldn’t help yourself. There was a reason you usually acted as an intelligence officer or a sniper and weren’t normally in the middle of the field. You and adrenaline did NOT mix. 

“The . . . the exit’s just over there.” The woman pointed a shaking finger to the right. 

“THANK YOU.” You screamed as you grabbed Bucky’s hand and started dragging him towards the door. You froze in your tracks. “I’M SORRY! I’M JUST PANICKING!” 

You didn’t wait for her response as you turned and raced towards the exit. 

Five minutes later, you were standing outside the ostentatiously blue building, your hands on your knees as you sucked in lungsful of that precious 02. 

“We need to go.” Bucky said, grabbing your hand and rushing you to the car. You barely had a chance to suck in one last breath before you found yourself being dragged across the expansive parking lot and back towards the truck Steve had let you borrow for the day. 

Bucky ran to the passenger door and opened it, helping you in before he raced to the driver's side. He didn’t even bother with the seat belt before he floored it out of the parking space. 

You clutched at the edges of your seat. “Bucky, slow down.” Your voice was suddenly very, very calm. 

Bucky glanced at you nervously. 

“Pull over, Sarge.” You ordered. 

Bucky hesitated. 

“James Buchanan Barnes. You pull over right now. You hear me?” 

Bucky glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that so far, no one was following. He pulled over to the side of the road, keeping half an eye on the road behind the two of you. 

You waited until the truck had come to a complete stop before you turned to Bucky. You let your heart calm back to a normal pace as you took in the white-knuckled grip he had on the wheel. Absently, you hoped Steve wouldn’t mind the imprints Bucky was sure to be leaving in the leather. 

“Talk to me, Buck.” You said softly. You reached out a hand and put it on his thigh. You ignored the way that he jumped slightly and waited for him to open up to you. It was your code phrase. The one that reminded him that he was in a safe place and that he could tell you anything. You would never judge. 

Bucky didn’t say anything for a long minute and then he let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry.” He said. 

You immediately shook your head. “You don’t have to be sorry, baby.” 

Bucky glanced over at you and smiled ruefully. “You had a panic attack.” He pointed out. 

You gasped in outrage. “That was because you were going to STAB that poor employee!” 

Bucky’s gaze immediately darkened. “That was no employee.” He grit out. 

You rolled your eyes. “Come on, Buck. She wasn’t HYDRA.” 

“She was WORSE.” Bucky muttered under his breath. 

You shook your head. “You never did explain what on EARTH could be worse than HYDRA.” You said, highly dubious. 

Bucky glanced over at you and then, with all the seriousness of Tony whenever he talked about how amazing he was; Bucky said: “She is a sleeper agent sent here by the Swedish government to perform psychological experiments and extensive mental torture on the American public.” 

You . . . froze. 

You tried to process everything you’d just heard. 

You tried to make the image of your kickass boyfriend who’d almost stabbed an innocent mesh with the image of a stereotypical conspiracy theorist. 

It didn’t quite work. 

“I . . . I’m sorry?” You asked as Bucky glanced into the rearview mirror before he pulled back onto the road. 

Bucky nodded seriously. “The Swedes. Everyone overlooks them. Underestimates them.” His eyes narrowed. “It makes them dangerous.” 

You had to physically swallow your laugh back and you nodded. “Sure. Sure. Makes sense.” Your voice cracked noticeably, but Bucky didn’t comment on it. Instead he glanced into the rearview mirror again. 

“Well . . .” You trailed off. You . . . you were really going to have to think about this later. When you were alone. “We still need furniture for the apartment, Buck.” 

Bucky nodded. “We’ll find another store. One with better taste too.” 

You nodded as you stared at your lap. 

The Swedes. That was a new one. 

A woman walked quickly into an ‘employee’s only’ entrance. “Well?” A voice said. 

“They were here.” 

“And?” 

“Both subjects showed above average ability to escape the maze even before the female faked a panic attack.” 

“Interesting. Inform me if they return.” 

The woman nodded and left the room as quickly as she’d entered. 

The man in black turned back to the surveillance camera footage and smiled. 

It was all coming together.


	2. The Coffee Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide yo' kids. Hide yo' wife.
> 
> The Swedes are back.
> 
> Based on this prompt: "After learning one of the Avengers has a coffee table from IKEA, Bucky charges to their apartment and begins tearing it apart looking for the listening device." From NevermoreBlack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two in our epic saga.

You put the finishing touches on the kitchen table you’d had Bucky put together earlier in the day. You stepped back and smiled. “What do you think?” You asked, turning to Bucky. 

He quickly tried to hide the grimace on his face. 

“What?” You asked, frowning as you turned back to the décor. “What’s wrong with it?” 

Bucky sighed. “Nothing. It’s great.” 

You rolled your eyes and turned back to him with crossed arms and an arched brow. “You sound SOOO convincing Mr. Super Assassin.” 

Bucky wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed a kiss on top of your head. You melted. 

Damn him. 

“Sorry, doll. It looks great. Just . . . do we need all the extra . . . stuff?” 

You glanced at the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table and the candlesticks you’d placed on either side. “Do we need . . . ? Do you understand the masterpiece I’ve created here, Barnes?!” You demanded, slipping out of his arms so you could step around the table and point at the bowl of fruit. 

Bucky glanced at it in confusion and then back at you. He shook his head. 

You glared up at the ceiling, begging for extra patience before you reached into the bowl of fruit and pulled out two pistols, a glock, three knives of varying lengths and several extra clips. Your smile grew with each weapon you pulled out of the innocent looking fruit bowl. Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise and, dare you say, appreciation. 

He quickly stepped around the table and you once again found yourself swept up into his arms. He pressed a burning kiss to your lips that took your breath away. You had half a mind to sweep your carefully placed decorations off the table and let him have his way with you, but he pulled back abruptly and leaned his forehead against yours. “You’re amazing.” He murmured, breathing heavily. 

You chuckled breathlessly. “Thanks. I know.” 

Bucky chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead before he backed away. You smirked as you saw him shift his legs awkwardly. You turned back to the fruit bowl and buried the weapons back inside. 

A knock sounded on the door. 

“It’s open!” You called. 

Bucky shot you a murderous glare and you rolled your eyes. “I'm a highly trained agent, Buck. It’s fine.” 

“Don’t care if you’re Romanov herself. You should ALWAYS look first.” Bucky gave you a pointed look as Steve walked through the door. 

You rolled your eyes. “What if I know it’s just Steve? Huh?” You turned to Steve. “You’d never attack me, now would you, ‘Cap?” You winked at him. 

Steve froze mid-step. “Uhhhh . . .” A red blush coated his cheeks. 

“You’re embarrassing the kid.” Bucky said, pointing at Steve. 

Steve’s blush disappeared entirely as he glared at Bucky. 

“Whatcha doin’ here, Steve?” You chuckled as you turned back to your arranging. 

Steve sent one last angry look in Bucky’s direction before he turned to you. “Came to help with the furniture.” He glanced around the room. “But it looks like you two already put it all together. It looks great!” 

Your smile lit up the room as you glanced at Bucky’s hard work. “Doesn’t it?” 

It felt like home. 

“It's not exactly what I had originally pictured, but I think we did okay, considering.” 

“Considering what?” Steve asked. 

You glanced at Bucky out of the corner of your eye as he started rummaging through the fridge. “Considering we couldn’t get the pieces I originally wanted from IKEA.” 

“Really? That’s too bad. Sharon and I picked out some IKEA stuff ourselves when we set up our place. Great furniture.” 

Something CRUNCHED. 

You glanced at Bucky to see his metal fingers had completely punctured through the door on the fridge. An eerie silence echoed around the room as you and Steve stared in shock. Steve widened his stance as though he wasn’t sure if it was about to come to a fight or not. You swallowed hard before you took a tiny step forward. 

“Bucky?” You asked softly. 

Bucky tensed before he very, very, VERY slowly, turned to pierce Steve with the darkest look you’d ever seen. 

“What.” His voice was low and threatening. 

Your eyes flicked to Steve’s and you begged him to lie. 

He didn’t seem to get the message. 

“I . . . uh . . . Sharon and I . . . we got some IKEA furniture when we first set up our place.” 

Bucky was out the front door before you had a chance to blink. 

“Buck!” You called as you brain scrambled to catch up. You raced out the front door, Steve right behind you. 

Bucky was already across the hall, Steve’s front door off its hinges. You raced past the destroyed wood and skid to a stop in Steve’s living room. Bucky had pulled Steve’s shield off the hook near the front door and was slamming it over and over against Steve’s coffee table. 

“Buck! Stop that!” You ordered, trying to race towards him. Steve caught your bicep and pulled you back. 

“What the hell?” He asked. It was more of a rhetorical question, but you couldn’t help but agree with it. 

What. The. Hell. 

Splintered wood chips flew around the apartment and white flecks of vinyl coating fluttered around you in a macabre scene of violent murder. 

Abruptly, and almost just as quickly as he started, Bucky dropped the shield and threw himself on the ground, digging through the flecks of debris. 

You and Steve could do nothing but stare on in horror? Fascination? 

You couldn’t even be sure what you were feeling. 

Eventually, Bucky popped to his feet. “Ah-HA.” He exclaimed, thrusting something small into your face. “See?!” 

You nearly went cross-eyed as you tried to take it in. “A screw?” You asked, glancing up at him. 

Bucky shook his head and pinched the thing between his metal fingers until it was flat as piece of paper. “A listening device.” He said. 

He glanced around the apartment. “There’s probably more.” 

He bent down to pick up Steve’s shield again but you and Steve stepped forward quickly. You grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him away from the destroyed coffee table as Steve swiped the shield up and slid it down the hallway towards the bedroom. 

“Steve can check for them.” You said quickly. “Right Steve? Better yet . . . JARVIS?” You asked, glancing up at the ceiling. 

“What can I do for you?” JARVIS’ voice responded. 

“Can you do a sweep for bugs?” You asked. 

There was a brief second of silence before JARVIS chimed back in. “There’s nothing currently transmitting in the apartment, Captain.” 

“Thanks JARVIS.” You said. You turned to Buck. “See, baby? You got it. Now how about we go over to our place and make sure we don’t have any? Whaddya say?” 

Bucky glanced around Steve’s apartment with a critical eye and a suspicious tilt to his head but eventually, he nodded. 

You let out a breath of relief and led him out the door. “Great. Let’s go.” 

You turned to Steve on your way out. ‘I’m so sorry.’ You mouthed. 

Steve shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in a ‘What are you going to do?’ Kind of way. 

You smiled awkwardly and maneuvered the door as closed as you could get it with how warped the wood now was. 

Steve stared around at the mess that was his living room and let out a sigh. How on EARTH was he going to explain this to Sharon? He’d promised she wouldn’t have to replace any more furniture. 

“Sir?” A timid voice sounded from behind the shadowed figure in front of the monitors. 

“What?” 

“The Hemnes has stopped transmitting.” 

The shadowy man frowned and flicked through the feeds until he got to the blank transmission. He listened as an innocent coffee table was butchered and . . . he smiled. 

“No matter.” He said as his lackey swallowed hard. 

“Sir?” 

“Put an ad out in tomorrow’s paper. Half off. We’ll have the Hemnes back in action soon enough.” 

The lackey scampered away. 

The man steepled his fingers. 

The plans were already in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NevermoreBlack gave two more amazing prompts so we're just going to keep this baby going! 
> 
> Each chapter will be a further installation in the grand conspiracy but could technically be read separately if you chose.


	3. The Meatballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt:
> 
> "Bucky finds Tony eating IKEA's famous meatballs. He goes nuts and tips over the table, destroying the food. He claims it contains a psychotropic compound that renders the water vulnerable to the power of suggestion." From NevermoreBlack.

“I had you!” You laughed, as you twirled around the hallway and started walking backwards so you could keep an eye on Bucky’s face. “I TOTALLY had you!” 

Bucky’s lips were turned up in a half a smirk as he lunged forward and gripped your hips so he could pull you out of the way of some agents you almost ran over. 

You waved at them awkwardly as they gave you judgmental looks, but even that couldn’t cut the smile off your face. 

“You think so, huh?” Bucky asked. 

You nodded proudly and leaned forward. “I KNOW so.” You said, pressing a quick kiss to his chin before you danced out of his arms and spun around to face forward again. 

Bucky shook his head as the two of you headed for the kitchen to get a post-workout snack. “You cheated.” He said. 

You gasped in mock outrage and pressed a hand to your chest. “I would NEVER.” Your back was facing him, but Bucky could hear the smile in your voice all the same. 

You stepped into the kitchen and saw Tony scrolling through something on his phone while eating something that smelled delicious. “Oooooh. Where’d you get that, Tony?” You asked, skipping towards him. “And more importantly, do you have any leftovers?” 

Tony smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Aphrodite.” 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname. It had come after Tony had gotten particularly interested in Greek mythology for a week. You didn’t mind it for yourself. But you disliked the not-so-subtle dig at Bucky. 

“Come on, Tony. I’m starving here. Are you really going to let the woman who holds the fate of your love life in the palms of her hands starve to death?” 

Tony pretended to think about it for a minute before he shook his head. “Sorry, your majesty, Pepp and I are in a good place right now. You’ve got nothing on me. Now leave me alone. I’m going to eat my Swedish Meatballs in peace.” 

Tony kept his eyes glued to your face as he dramatically speared a meatball and raised it to his lips. Before he could take a bite, Bucky’s hand shot out and slapped the fork away. Fork, meatball, and Tony’s smile splattered against the opposite wall with a sickly splat. 

Tony glanced at Bucky angrily. “What was THAT for?” He demanded. 

Bucky shrugged but didn’t give any more of an answer. You glanced between the two of them as you felt a fight beginning to brew. 

Tony stared your boyfriend down as he reached for his plate. “Jokes on you, BIG GUY, I don’t mind getting my hands dirty unlike some Hammer’s I know.” 

Tony reached for one of the meatballs left on his plate. 

Bucky didn’t break eye contact once as he reached down and flung Tony’s plate like a frisbee, out of the kitchen. Meat, fries, peas and gravy went flying in every direction before the plate landed against the wall and smashed to pieces. 

You slapped a hand against your forehead and wondered what sins you were paying for this time around. You could feel your heart start pounding harder as the tension in the room skyrocketed. 

“That’s it. That’s the last straw. JARVIS!” Tony growled. 

You heard the hum of technology as Tony called a suit and Bucky clenched his fist. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. 

“STOP!” You called flinging yourself into the middle of the two men. “FOR ODIN’S SAKE, MAKE UP OR MAKE OUT THE TENSION IS KILLING ME!!!” 

“Ahem.” 

You squeezed your eyes shut and slowly turned to see Pepper standing in the middle of the gravy stained living room. “Uh . . . hiya, Pepp. Didn’t see you there.” 

Pepper smirked as she glanced around the destroyed furniture and then at Tony and Bucky who were still halfway posed to fight. 

She took a few steps forward until she was standing shoulder to shoulder with you. 

“For the record . . .” She started. 

You tensed. 

“I agree.” 

You blinked. 

“Make up or make out. Go on.” 

Tony and glanced at Pepper as though trying to gauge how serious she was. Then he turned to glance at Bucky. 

The two barely made eye contact before their eyes swiveled to glance at anything and everything else. “No need.” Tony said. 

“We’re fine.” Bucky added. 

“Nothing to see here. All made up. Enemies to lovers and all that.” 

Pepper winked at you and then stepped towards Tony. “Great! Well then, you have time to come help with that board meeting you promised to attend.” 

Tony groaned. “But my lunch . . .” He whined. 

Pepper shook her head. “The one you food-fought all over the living room? Doesn’t seem like you were actually all that hungry, now, does it?” 

Tony shot you and Bucky a glare over Pepper’s shoulder as she led him away. ‘Payback.’ He mouthed with a glare. 

You sighed knowing full well that Tony was going to spend the next week making your life a living hell. You turned to Bucky. “Do I want to know?” 

“The Swedes.” He said, glaring at the living room where the remains of Tony’s half-eaten food littered the carpet. “Perfected the art of psychotropic drugs long ago.” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “For what purpose?” 

“Mind control. Makes a person more susceptible to suggestion.” 

You sighed and glanced at the fallen food. Your tummy rumbled and you decided to have some fun of your own. You shrugged. “Twenty second rule!” You screamed before you lunged for the food on the ground. 

Bucky caught you around the waist and flung you over his shoulder. 

“No, you don’t.” He grouched. He carried you away and you stared sadly at the forgotten food. 

“But . . . meatballs . . .” You said sadly. 

Bucky shifted you on his shoulder and you grunted as the wind was knocked out of you. 

“I’ll make you spaghetti and meatballs. The Italians know how to do things right.” 

You perked up but were careful to hide the smile in your voice. “Sure, whatever. Sounds fine, I guess.” 

Bucky tightened his grip on your thighs and smiled to himself. He wasn’t fooled for a second. 

“Lucky! Come on! Here boy!” 

Lucky ignored Sam as he bounded into the living room, sniffing out his lunch. His ears perked up as he smelled the forgotten meatballs on the floor. He raced over and ate two before Sam caught up to him. 

“Oh, no! Don’t do that! You don’t know where those have been!” Sam cried. 

Lucky spat the final meatball out onto the carpet. Sam’s face screwed up in disgust as he took in the half-chewed glob of meat and saliva on the floor. 

“Ugh. Come on, buddy. Let’s go find Clint. HE can clean this mess up.” 

Lucky immediately bounded back to Sam who stared at him in shock. “Uh.” Lucky had never been that obedient before. “Riiiiiight . . . Let’s go.” 

Lucky bounded after him happily as Sam shook his head. 

“What the hell’s gotten in to you, huh?” 

Lucky barked happily and wagged his tail. 

What indeed.


	4. The Earth, The Moon, The Other Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from ShaWalt: 
> 
> "Also, I would really love to see what would happen if Bucky learned about the flat earth and the moon landing hoax conspiracies. Just saying, lol."
> 
> And my own guilty pleasure prompt. XD

You glared at the reports spilled out on the table in front of you. You struggled to keep your temper as your eyes slowly looked up and across the room at the back of Steve’s head where he was sitting, peacefully unaware of your murderous intentions as he relaxed with a good book. 

You could do it. You could take him. He wouldn’t see you coming. 

Bucky cleared his throat next to you and your eyes flickered to his. His eyes twinkled in that way that they did when he knew EXACTLY what you were thinking. 

He shook his head slowly. 

You narrowed your eyes before you slowly turned your attention back to the reports. They were all marked through with red ink. Grammatical corrections littered the margins. And you were very, VERY tempted to loudly remark on the fact that Captain ‘Holier than Thou’ Steven Grant Rogers had never actually graduated high school and BESIDES they had APPs for grammar now. Why the HELL wouldn’t he let you use one if he was such a damn stickler? 

You grit your teeth and picked up a pen, ready to start hand-writing your report AGAIN. What were you? Some kind of caveman? 

“Ooooh. Those look worse than my last report card.” A voice called from the ceiling. “May almost grounded me for life.” 

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught the corner of Steve’s lips quirk up. Without turning your full attention towards him, you tossed your pen in his direction and smiled as it plinked off his skull and rolled under the couch. 

“What are you doin’ here, Peter?” You asked, glancing up at the teen who was hanging upside down on the ceiling. 

“I was actually here to talk to Mr. Stark. Have you seen him around?” 

You shook your head. “Sorry, Pete. I think he took the day off. Said something about needing to spend some R & R with Pepper.” 

Peter grimaced. 

“Maybe we can help?” You offered, desperately pleading for an excuse to do anything but reports. 

Peter pondered it a minute. “I don't know . . .” 

“Come on, Pete. You can trust me.” You clasped your hands in front of you and made your best puppy dog face. 

Peter somehow managed to look even more distrusting. You tried not to be offended. “Well . . . It’s just that a friend of mine is CONVINCED that the Earth is flat. I was hoping Mr. Stark could help launch Spiderman into space so I could take some selfies and prove otherwise . . .” 

Beside you, Bucky chortled. “People actually think the Earth is flat? Seriously? That’s ridiculous.” 

Peter nodded. “Oh yeah. That’s not even the worst conspiracy out there either.” 

You and Steve jumped to your feet and frantically gestured for Peter to shut up. Bucky and conspiracies DID NOT mix. 

“Really?” Bucky asked. 

You desperately glanced around the table for something to throw at Peter, but you’d already chucked your only projectile. 

“Oh yeah! People say that the moon landing was fake too!” 

Bucky nodded as though agreeing with it. He had a knowing look in his eye that made you face-palm yourself and slowly sink into your chair. Steve sunk back onto the couch with a huff of defeat. 

‘”Yeah! And! Oh, this one’s my favorite; they say that JFK wasn’t assassinated by that dude Lee Harvey Oswald. No that was a HUGE coverup. Really it was an undercover CIA agent. They say he was too loose-lipped. Got him krrrrckkkk.” Peter ran a finger over his throat dramatically. 

Bucky let out a breath. “Didn’t know HYDRA was in the CIA too.” He murmured under his breath. 

A burning silence fell. You, Steve and Peter all turned to stare at Bucky with varying degrees of shock. 

Bucky took another bite of his sandwich before he felt the stares and glanced at all of you. “What?” He asked. 

You swallowed hard. “Uh . . . what was that, babe?” 

Bucky swallowed his bite and thought back. “That the moon landing was fake?” He nodded. “Yeah. Back when I was under HYDRA, I was brought in to threaten the actors. The sets were cool though.” 

You shook your head. “No that . . .” You shook your head again, trying to wrap your head around this. “I . . .” 

“Holy CROW. Did you kill JFK?!” Peter exclaimed. 

Bucky froze. Entirely shut down. He could have been a statute. 

His eyes flicked up to Peter’s dangling form. “I never said that.” He said menacingly. 

“But . . . but you implied it . . . yeah?” Peter asked, shuffling awkwardly. 

Bucky pushed up from the table and pointed a single threatening finger in Peter’s direction. “Now I have to kill you.” 

He stalked out of the room. 

“Uh . . . ummmm . . . uh . . . he’s not going to actually kill me . . . is he?” Peter asked, his voice cracking noticeably. 

You threw a frantic glance at Steve who was shaking his head. “Of course not.” He said. It sounded more like a question. 

“OkaywellIhavetogonow. Thanksbye!” Peter swung away. JARVIS opened a window and Peter threw himself out of it. 

You glanced at Steve. ‘He murdered a PRESIDENT?’ You mouthed. 

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. ‘There’s a lot we don’t know.’ He offered. 

You stared at him dumbfounded for a long minute before Steve sighed and pointed at the stack of paperwork in front of you. “You have work to do.” He said, grabbing his book and settling back into the couch. 

You dropped your gaze back to your red marked pages and were just settling back into your seat when you heard the very distinct sound of a slide being pulled back and clicking back into place on a handgun. 

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope!” You pushed up from the table and took off running out of the room. Time to make yourself scarce. Maybe you could make yourself into a conspiracy. 

Remember that Avenger? What was her name? Whatever happened to her? 

No one knows . . . 

You were a thief in the night. A shadow . . . a mist . . . you were *poof* gone. 

Bucky turned the corner and glanced at the paperwork that you’d left scattered across the table. “Where’d she go?” He asked. 

Steve shrugged a shoulder. “Heard her say something about Bermuda.” He teased. 

Bucky glared and pointed a finger in Steve’s direction. “Don’t even joke about Bermuda.” He glared. 

Steve paled at the seriousness on Bucky’s face and held his hand up in surrender. “Sorry.” He murmured. 

Bucky nodded and stalked out of the room, ready to track you to the ends of the earth if that’s what it took. 

“Wait!” Steve called. 

Bucky turned around. 

Steve stared hard at the book in his hands. “Did . . . did you really kill a president?” 

Bucky watched Steve for a long moment as he debated the wisdom in sharing anything with his oldest friend. 

“Wasn’t my first, won’t be my last.” He flexed his fist, the metal plates in his arm shifting loudly before he turned and left the room again, leaving Steve clutching the wrinkled pages of his book for dear life.


	5. The Satellites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stark launches a satellite into orbit to compete with Google maps. Bucky makes reader wear a tinfoil hat. As it turns out; if you were born after 1983 (the year the internet was invented) or if you’ve been to the hospital since then, you have a chip in your brain that lets satellites read your thoughts. Who woulda guessed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, VintageLove54 for unintentionally giving me the idea! XD

You snuggled up against Bucky’s side as the two of you cuddled in one of the patio chairs on the roof of Stark tower. You were staring up at the night sky, watching the stars twinkle as you waited for Tony to finish prepping his satellite rocket.

“It’s beautiful.” You murmured, smiling.

Bucky glanced down at you a matching smile on his face. He never felt more at peace than he did when you were with him like this. “It sure is.” He murmured.

You tilted your head up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Yo! Stark! How much longer? I’m freezing my unmentionables off up here!” Sam called from the other side of the deck.

You shot him a smile as Tony huffed in the middle of the roof. “You just don’t have any appreciation for science, Wilson.”

“I appreciate it. I appreciate fire. That’s science. I also appreciate being in bed on a cold winter night like this. So let’s go already!”

Tony rolled his eyes and glanced over at Bruce who Nat had somehow gotten to sit still on one of the benches next her. “We ready?”

Bruce pulled his arm off of Nat’s shoulders and dug into his pocket. He pulled out a device and tapped out a few things before he nodded. “You sure you want to do this?” He asked. “Might cause a few problems.”

Tony waved his hand flippantly as he took a step back from the rocket. “I’m getting tired of hacking into government satellites whenever that one wants surveillance pictures.” He said, throwing his thumb over his shoulder in Steve’s direction.

Steve glared at him. Sharon smirked before she rubbed his chest comfortingly and whispered something in his ear. Based on the way Steve’s cheeks reddened, it had been something entirely inappropriate.

Steve glanced in your direction and the smile promptly slid off his face at the matching smug shit-eating-grins on your and Bucky’s faces. He rolled his eyes.

“Alright, kids. Let’s get this show on the road.” Tony interrupted. He took a few steps back. “Who wants to do the countdown?”

Morgan’s head popped up from where she was lying against her mother. “I do! I do!”

Tony smiled. “Alright, sweetie. Go ahead.”

“Five! Four! Three! Two! ONE!” Morgan cheered.

Tony pressed the button and you all watched as the rocket shot into the air. The rocket was hardly off the roof when you felt a something crinkly slide onto your head.

You reached a hand up felt the distinct edges of a tinfoil hat sticking into your skin. You let out a long sigh. “Bucky. I love you. But What. The. Hell.” You glanced up at him and couldn’t help but notice the distinct lack of tinfoil on his own head.

The rocket disappeared from view and the rest of the team started cleaning up before heading inside. A few of them shot amused glances in your direction as you and Bucky had a staring contest. Bucky waited until the rest of the team disappeared before he responded.

“Everyone knows Satellites read your mind.” He said in way of explanation.

You let out another drawn out sigh. “Buck . . .” You reached up to pull the hat off. Bucky snatched it out of your hands and set it back on your head. You switched tactics. “How would they read minds, huh, baby? Riddle me that one.”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest. “If you were born after 1983 or have been to a public hospital since then, you have a chip in your mind. Everyone knows this doll.” He insisted.

You pinched the bridge of your nose before a thought popped into mind. “Wait.” You glanced up at him. “You’ve been to the hospital since then.”

Bucky froze. Then he slowly shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

You nodded. “Yeah, you have. New Orleans. You got hit with that grenade. We took you to the hospital to get your concussion checked out before we flew home.”

Bucky stared at you for a long minute. He slowly reached down to his pocket and before you knew it, he was pulling his switchblade out of his pocket. He flicked it open and immediately started bringing it towards his scalp, all without taking his eyes off of you.

“What the hell!” You exclaimed, lunging for his arm. You pulled it towards your chest, and threw yourself against the ground, using your body weight and gravity to try to keep Bucky from lobotomizing himself. Even with all of that, Bucky was still inching closer to his scalp.

“I don’t want any-damned-body reading my thoughts. They’re MINE.” He growled.

“At least let Cho do it!” You screamed.

Bucky froze again and glanced down at your panicked expression. Something softened in his face as he took in your desperate face and he nodded. “Okay, baby. I’ll go see Cho.”

You sighed in relief as he helped you up from the ground. You nodded. “Okay. Okay. Good. Okay.” You and Bucky started walking back to the elevator. “I’M KEEPING THIS THOUGH!” You screamed, swiping the switchblade out of Bucky’s hand. You quickly slipped it into your pants. “Don’t even know where you keeping getting the damned things.” You grumbled under your breath.

Bucky smiled and wrapped a hand around your head, pulling you close so he could kiss your hair. “Don’t wait up.” He murmured.

You glared at him as you got off the elevator and headed towards your rooms. Bucky continued down to the medical wing alone.

Dr. Cho looked up as Bucky entered the room. “Sergent. What a surprise. I hardly ever see you down here. What brings you by?”

“I need you to remove the chip in my brain.” He said.

Dr. Cho blinked. “The . . .”

“The chip. Yes.”

Dr. Cho opened her mouth to ask something else but thought better of it. She sighed and set down her tablet before she gestured towards the MRI machine.

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “You won’t see it on those. They’re designed to miss it.”

Dr. Cho sighed again. “How do you propose I get it out then?” She asked kindly.

Bucky sat on one of the tables and pointed at his temple. “It’s right here. It’s always right here.”

Dr Cho shook her head fiercely. “I’m not operating without an exam first, Sergent. I’m sorry but I won’t.”

Bucky looked at her for a long moment, judging her commitment to the statement.

“Fine.” He said.

He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a switchblade. He flicked it open and raised it to his temple while maintaining eye contact with Dr. Cho.

“Wait!” She screamed, rushing towards him. “Okay! I’ll do it!”

Bucky put down the blade and waited for her to grab a scalpel and her other supplies.

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” She grumbled under her breath.

Bucky grunted and sat still as she sanitized the skin at his temple and made the incision. She reached her fingers into the cut and dug around. Her eyes widened as she pulled out a tiny blinking device. “What the hell?” She asked.

Bucky glanced up at her. “Doc?” He asked.

Helen shook her head. “Uh. Right.” She dropped the device into a dish and then quickly stitched the incision together. She cleaned the area and pulled her gloves off. “Right. Well . . . you’re done.” She said, her eyes glancing betrayingly at the device blinking in the tin.

Bucky cracked his neck before he stepped towards her. “Thanks doc.” He said. “Sorry about this.”

“What?” Helen glanced up at him in confusion. Bucky grabbed her face, his fingers splayed on either side of her head. He tapped out a very specific pattern against her temples and watched as her eyes glazed over.

“Hi, Cho. You’re going to forget everything. Got that? You’re going to forget everything for the past hour. Wipe it from your memory. Command code three-zero-alpha-zeta-lock.”

Helen blinked.

Bucky nodded to himself and made quick work of cleaning up the room. He slipped the bloody chip into his pocket and took one last glance at Helen who was standing in the middle of the room with a blank look on her face. He grimaced and snapped his fingers as he left the room.

Helen jolted to attention and glanced around the room. “What did I come in here to do, again?”

Bucky turned the chip over and over in his hands as he rode the elevator back up to your floor. The elevator dinged as the doors slid open and he smashed the chip between his fingers, watching as the light died out. He adjusted his grip on his knife and stalked towards you. He needed to get the rest of the chips out. 

Tonight.

He sighed as he opened the door and met your sarcastic gaze. It was going to be a long night. 


	6. The Mandela Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from Grell_Belle_1945: 
> 
> "How would Bucky react to the Mandela effect? Like the Bernstein bears conspiracy?"

You were done. You were done with today. You were done with missions. You were sure as HELL done with Steve. “Freaking psychotic idiot. ‘Let’s jump out of the airplane, doll. Don’t worry about the parachute I TOTALLY HAVE YOU . . . DOLL!’” You grumbled under your breath. You tried to raise your arm angrily over your head and winced as your strained muscles pulled funny where you’d dislocated your shoulder earlier. 

You sighed. You just wanted to go home and take a shower. Maybe take a nap. Forget about everything else for a minute. 

You unlocked your front door, grateful that you and Bucky had found a place away from the tower for moments like this. Sometimes you just didn’t want to be around the rest of the team. 

“Baby . . . I’m . . . What’s this?” You asked, freezing in the doorway. 

Bucky was standing in front of projector with a thing stick in one hand. Peter was sitting eagerly on your couch, a notebook in one hand, a pencil in the other and the biggest grin you’d ever seen plastered on his face. “Oh! Hi Mrs. Bucky, Ma’am.” Peter stammered. 

You glanced at your boyfriend. Bucky flicked his stick out, slapping at the blank wall where a badly designed powerpoint was being projected. In big, bold letters, the title “Area 51? No. Area’s 52-55.” was flashing. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose and counted to ten in your head. 

“Did you know they keep the aliens at Area 53?!” Peter exclaimed. 

You didn’t even glance up as you responded. “Peter. You’ve MET aliens.” 

“Yeah! But I haven’t met the one’s from ROSWELL!” 

You shook your head. “Nope. Nope. I’m too tired for this shit. I will see you in the morning.” You quickly fled the room and locked yourself in your bedroom leaving Bucky and Peter alone again. 

Bucky glanced in your direction before he turned back to Peter. The kid was practically vibrating on the couch with excitement. You almost couldn’t see the thin scar across his temple. 

“What’s next Mr. Bucky?” Peter asked, flipping the page in his notebook and leaning forward. Bucky smiled and pointed a remote at the computer that was hooked up to the projector. The slide disappeared and another slide appeared in place. 

“The Mandela Effect?” Peter read. 

Bucky nodded sagely. “Some people remember things differently than others. Hundreds of thousands of people remember things differently than others. Ever heard of the Berenstain Bears?” Bucky asked. 

Peter nodded. “Well. Yeah. Of course. Everyone has.” 

Bucky nodded again. “How do you spell it.” 

“B-E-R-E-N-S-T-E-I-N.” 

“Wrong.” 

“Wrong?” 

“B-E-R-E-N-S-T-A-I-N.” Bucky specified. 

“Whoooooooa.” Peter said, his mind clearly blown. 

Bucky nodded sagely. “The people who remember things differently are from another time-line.” Bucky hit another button and another line appeared on the powerpoint. “You died in that timeline. Tough break kid.” 

Peter shook his head and scribbled something down in his notebook. “This is wild!” 

Bucky smirked. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, kid.” 

Hours later, Bucky finished his powerpoint and Peter left, thourougly broken. 

Bucky smiled as he tided up the living room. The bedroom door opened and you poked your head out. 

“You done, baby?” You asked, blinking sleepily. 

Bucky nodded and pressed a kiss to the scar on the side of your head. “Yeah, doll. I’m done. Want some food?” 

“How about some capers?” You asked. 

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.” Bucky growled. 

You threw your hands up. “Okay, okay. Whatever sounds good to you then.” 

Bucky pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “I love you.” He murmured. 

“I love you too.” You whispered tiredly. “You weirdo.” You tacked on for good measure. 

Bucky shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I make an actual powerpoint?
> 
> Yes. Yes I did.
> 
> Did I make that into a video? 
> 
> Yes. Yes I did.
> 
> Wanna watch it?
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DciLB5L_gPw
> 
> Yes. Yes you do. XD
> 
> Behold it's glory!!!
> 
> Just gonna put a "spoiler alert" here for it. Some of the slides will be discussed in future chapters. XD


	7. The Loch Ness Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from NevermoreBlack:
> 
> “Bucky reveals that HYDRA had a secret base near Loch Ness in the 50’s. They found a “specimen” and began hybridization efforts to make its progeny controllable and deadlier. The result was a bloodbath. The surviving subject escaped into the loch and the base was abandoned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is low-key my favorite chapter so far. XD

You and Bucky held hands as you moved through the compound. You smiled up at him and he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, just because. He’d been getting more and more affectionate in public lately and you were living for it. In fact, you were just starting to think about seeing what else you could get away with, when you heard the gravelly voice of Benedict Cumberbatch as he narrated yet another documentary. 

You broke the kiss and hurried into the common room, flinging yourself over the couch. “What are we watching?” You asked Sam. 

He opened his mouth to answer, but you waved a hand at him flippantly and shushed him as beautiful Benedict started talking again. 

Sam exchanged an unamused look with Bucky behind your back. 

“The Loch Ness Monster has been rumored to exist since 1933 when the newspaper ‘Inverness Courier’ first reported on a giant creature haunting the now famous Scotland loch.” 

Sam scoffed behind you. “Please. No way that thing exists. The rumors are older than this one.” He said, gesturing his thumb in Bucky’s direction. “And no one’s ever caught it on tape.” 

“There were those pictures.” You argued. 

“Driftwood.” Sam argued back. 

“Please, SAMUEL. There are dozens of places a dinosaur like that could be hiding. We know more about the moon than we do about the earth’s waterways. I bet you a thousand dollars it exists.” 

“Fine. But if I win, you owe me a date.” 

“Pfff. Fine. But it will never happen.” 

Neither of you noticed Bucky slipping away into the shadows. 

Several hours later, you were chucking popcorn at the TV. “No way!” You yelled. “Boooo!” 

Benedict Cumberbatch ignored you as he continued narrating. “We may never know what is down there. But one thing is certain, more mysterious things have been solved in the past.” 

Sam chuckled. “Guess neither of us win.” He said, standing up and stretching. 

“Wrong.” Another gravely voice that you loved so well spoke up. 

You and Sam both turned to see Bucky push out of the shadows and walk towards Sam. Before the man knew what had hit him, Bucky flung something grey and slimy at his face. 

Sam squealed as he reached up and yanked the sucker off his face. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” He demanded, dancing on his feet in panic. He turned to you and your back slammed into a wall as you scrambled away from him. 

Sam glanced at Bucky and flung the thing back at him. Bucky caught it and held it like a cat in the crook of his arm as he petted it awkwardly. “It’s a Loch Ness Monster.” He said casually. 

“I think . . . I think . . . yup.” Sam went down on the couch like a sack of potatoes. 

You glanced at him and then at Bucky who was stroking the creatures back gently. “What. The. Hell.” You murmured to yourself inching closer. 

“Wanna hold it?” Bucky asked, holding it out to you. 

You shook your head rapidly and threw yourself back against the wall as the thing bared its razor sharp teeth at you and snarled. 

“I’m dead. I died. I’m dead. This is hell.” You slid down the wall and sat hard on your butt. Bucky held the thing away from you as he approached you worriedly. “Hey, come on now. If this was hell, would you have just won a thousand dollars?” 

You glanced at him with wide, terrified eyes, before you turned back to look at Sam. 

“I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m so dead. Bucky’s going to KILL me.” 

Bucky chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re not dead, sweetheart. Loch Ness is real. Or it was anyway.” 

You just stared at him, uncomprehendingly. 

Bucky sighed and wrestled with the creature in his arms for a minute. “HYDRA built a base near the loch in the 50s. They started a hybridization project to make this. Didn’t work too well. They’re not very friendly and were never exactly obedient. HYDRA put most of them down but a few escaped after taking out a large portion of the base and staff.” Bucky shrugged. “I think they’re breeding. It wasn’t too hard to find this little guy.” 

“Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap.” 

Bucky glanced at you. “Can I keep him?” 

You glanced from your boyfriend to the creature in his hands and back again and then your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you went limp on the ground just like Sam. 

Bucky sighed and glanced at the toothy beast in his arms. “Guess not. Sorry little guy. Back to the loch you go. JARVIS?” 

A suit flew out of the shadows and Bucky tucked the beast inside. JARVIS sealed the suit shut before he launched it into the air. “Should I tell Tony about this?” He asked. 

Bucky glanced at you and Sam. “Better not.” He said, swooping down and scooping you up in your arms. 

JARVIS sighed. “Right.” 

Bucky pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Come on doll. Let’s get you to bed. Sam can fend for himself. I’ll make sure to get that thousand dollars for you though.” 

He kissed you again and led you away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a few more chapters to go and then Reader is going to get dragged into a plot so thick not even she can deny Bucky's wisdom anymore. XD


	8. The Swatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from VickyBarnes92: 
> 
> "Clint finds an old “Swatch” (a Swiss watch from the 80’s. It was a thing.) And Bucky loses it and smashes it because of a tracking device."

You were sitting on the couch with a mug full of coffee and a lap full of book when Clint burst into the room with all the exuberance and energy of a five-year-old child. 

You jumped and watched in dismay as your coffee painted your brand-new book in dark colors. “Dammit.” You groaned. “I was looking forward to reading that.” 

Clint glanced at you sheepishly. “Sorry. But look what I found!” He held up colorful watch. 

“Oooooo?” You awed in confusion. 

Clint nodded and flipped it back and forth. “I couldn’t believe it either.” He said. 

You set your soggy book on the coffee table and glanced at Clint. “Clint. Robin Hood. Buddy. It’s a watch.” 

Clint shook his head. “You don’t get it. This is an original . . .” He paused for dramatic effect before splaying his hands in wonder. “Swatch.” He drew the word out as though it somehow made it seem more mystical. 

You closed your eyes. “What’s a Swatch, Clint?” You asked with a sigh. 

“Oh. These were the BOMB back in the 80’s. They had everything.” 

“Like what?” You asked. 

“They glowed in the dark, they told the time, obviously, they were slim, sleek and made everyone look good.” Clint strapped the watch to his wrist and made a series of duck-faces as he posed with his wrist in various places around his face. 

You bit your lip as you nodded, struggling not to laugh. “Yup. Yup, you sure look dashing. Oh what WILL Laura do when she sees you next?” 

Clint smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He teased. 

You smiled at him and shook your head before you pushed to your feet and moved to the kitchen to get a rag. “Just promise me you won’t do it here.” You said. 

Clint chuckled and flung his arm over the back of the couch. “No can do.” He called. 

You grabbed a rag and ran it under the kitchen faucet. You glanced up as Bucky walked into the room, sweaty from his morning run with Steve. “Hi baby.” You murmured, pushing up on your tiptoes and puckering your lips, hoping he’d get the hint. 

Luckily, God had blessed your man with more than one braincell (when he chose to use them that was) and Bucky leaned over to press a quick kiss to your lips before moving towards the fridge to get a drink. 

“What are you up to?” He asked, nodding down at the rag in your hands and your coffee splattered pants. 

You rolled your eyes. “Clint got excited about his new ‘swatch’ and . . .” You gestured down at your pants. 

Bucky’s expression darkened as his head swung around, his eyes narrowing as his gaze zeroed in on the watch on Clint’s wrist. “BARTON!” He yelled, slamming his water bottle on the counter, splashing you with water too. 

You sighed and glanced at your soaked clothes. So much for a relaxing day at the tower. 

You heard a startled yelp come from the living room and your head shot up just in time to see Bucky tackle Clint over the couch and pin his head against the coffee table. 

You rushed into the living room as Bucky grabbed Clint’s arm and slammed it against the table. He gripped the strap of the watch and snapped it off Clint’s arm before he crushed it in his fist. 

“Tracking device, Barton. You’re better than this.” 

Bucky pushed off of Clint and stalked angrily back into the hallway leaving you and Clint alone. 

“You ready to call it yet?” Barton asked, rubbing at his bruised head. 

You sighed. You loved the hell out of your soldier but enough was enough. 

“Yeah, Clint. I’m calling it.” 

Clint nodded and pushed to his feet. “I’ll let the team know.” 

Your shoulders slumped as Clint patted you on the back and left the room. 

You stood in the room for a long minute before you shook yourself out of your funk and grabbed a jacket before you headed down to the lobby. 

You just needed some fresh air. 

You walked outside, ignoring the strange looks you were getting based on the stains on your clothes and you walked to Central Park, your mind whirling. 

You wandered around for a little bit before you sat down and pulled out your phone. 

You started at the title of your note for a long minute: 

“Bucky’s Intervention” 

You sighed and deleted everything you had been working on before you started again. 

“Bucky, I love you to pieces but dear LORD you have to STOP.” 

You threw your head back and deleted it before you tried again. 

“Bucky, I love you and because I love you, I’m worried about you. These paranoid delusions are starting to affect . . .” 

You jumped as something sharp and painful jabbed you in the side of the neck. Your vision went hazy as you slumped to the side on the bench. A figure in black clothes walked around front and pulled your phone out of your weak fingers. 

“No more of that now.” He said in a thick accent. 

He threw your phone into the bushes just as your eyes slid shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get INTERESTING.


	9. The Swedes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from thepracticalheartmom: 
> 
> "Reader gets kidnapped by Swedish spies. Bucky is the only one who knows where to find her; in the IKEA kid playground. Suspended in the air.”

“Sergent Barnes, your presence is required in the living room. The team is having a meeting.” 

Bucky glanced up from the elaborate sweeping device he was building to detect listening devices. “Right now?” He asked. 

“Yes, sir.” JARVIS responded. 

Bucky grumbled under his breath as he pushed away from his desk. He stalked through the halls pissed off and ready to rumble. If this was another talk about what was and wasn’t appropriate to tell Peter, thinly disguised as a meeting about the importance of being a good role model to the youths of today, he was going to hit someone. 

Bucky walked into the living room and froze. 

Well, it wasn’t a meeting about Peter at least. 

A bold white banner hung from the ceiling with two arrows pinning it to the wall. In bright red letters the word ‘Intervention’ was written out. 

“What’s this?” Bucky asked, immediately on guard. 

Steve sighed and stepped forward. “Listen, Buck . . .” He started. “Some of us have noticed at you’re acting a little . . .” 

“Unhinged.” Tony supplied helpfully. 

“And we all love you, of course.” Steve continued. 

“Some of us.” Tony corrected. 

“But maybe it’s time to let the conspiracies rest for a little while.” 

“How about all the whiles.” 

Steve sighed and rounded on Tony. “You know what, Stark?” He started. 

“They’re not conspiracies.” Bucky said firmly. 

Steve sighed, the fight draining out of him as his shoulders slumped. “Buck . . .” He started. 

Bucky shook his head. “They’ve ALL been true.” He argued. “Where’s Wilson? He can tell you. Or Y/N. Where’s she?” Bucky glanced around the room, looking for you. 

The rest of the team followed his gaze and noticed that you weren’t there. 

Bucky glanced at the team, his jaw clenching as each of them shook their heads. “Where is she, then?” He asked, an air of calm about him that did nothing to ease the worries of the rest of the team. Everyone could sense the calm before the storm. 

“JARVIS? You have a location?” Tony asked. 

“Her phone is registering in the park.” JARVIS responded immediately. 

Tony gestured at the ceiling. “I can go get her.” He volunteered. 

Bucky shook his head. “I’ll go.” He said, stalking out of the room. 

The second he was out of sight a collective sigh was let out. Nat turned to the team and smirked. “I think that went well.” She said. 

Steve stared at her for a long minute before he stalked out of the room. 

Bucky pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the dot that was still blinking in the same place. He pocketed the phone as he stared at an empty park bench. 

Something wasn’t right. 

Bucky took in everything with the laser focus years of HYDRA conditioning had given him. 

He saw the broken branches of the bush located just behind your bench and he bent down to see your phone lying broken on the pavement below. 

His jaw ticked. 

Bucky’s phone rang and he pulled it out and answered it curtly. “Hello?” 

“Buck.” Steve let out a relieved breath. “You find her?” 

“She’s been taken.” 

Steve let out a deep sigh. “Buck. Not everyone’s out to get you. You know that right?” 

Bucky saw the flutter of something white hidden in the branches. He juggled his phone so it was propped against his ear as he reached his metal arm into the shrub to pull out a single piece of paper. 

‘Du vet vad vi vill ha.’ 

Bucky crumpled the paper in his fist. “Not everyone. Just HYDRA. The Swedes. The CIA. MI6 isn’t. I’ll give you that. But that’s only ‘cuz they think I’m dead.” 

Steve went silent but Bucky could practically hear him thinking. 

“They took her.” Bucky insisted. “Found her phone. It’s smashed. And there’s a note.” 

That caught Steve’s attention. “What?! Where are you? I’m bringing backup.” 

“Not necessary.” Bucky growled, stalking away from the park bench you’d been taken from. He walked towards a trash can and threw the note and your shattered cellphone into it. “I’m going to find her. On my own.” 

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Buck. How are you going to find her, huh? Let us help.” 

Bucky shook his head. “I know exactly where she is.” He said, pulling another device out of his pocket. 

Steve scoffed, exasperated. “How?” 

“I’ve been feeding her tracking devices everyday since we met. I can find any of you.” 

Steve felt a range of things sweep through him in that moment. None of them were pleasant. “Buck . . .” 

“I’m finding her.” 

Bucky hung up his own phone and tossed it in the trash can after yours before he pulled up his device. “Hold on, doll. I’m coming.” He murmured. 

Your eyes fluttered open as a pinching pain woke you up. You tried to shift your arms, but your muscles caught. You glanced down that your entire torso was completely tied up with thick decorative rope. Your legs were likewise tied together with the ropes. You glanced around in surprise and found yourself sitting in a hanging canvas seat, high above a . . . children's playground. 

“Wa’ ‘e ‘ell?” You murmured around your gag. 

“Oh, good. You’re awake.” 

Your eyes wandered to a man who you were certain you’d never seen before. He was standing below you. “’Ou batharth.” You tried to curse. 

The man smirked. “I would assume that was extremely unflattering. I do apologize for the gag. It was necessary. I assure you.” 

You rolled your eyes and tried to twist your arms behind your back, but they were pinned too tightly to your sides. 

“No use in trying to escape. I suspect the show will begin soon anyway.” 

“’ho’?” You asked. 

The man chuckled darkly. “Just you wait . . . doll.” 

You froze at the familiar nickname and a sinking sensation filled you. 

Bucky. 

You closed your eyes and prayed that he would stay the hell away. You would get yourself out of this . . . somehow. 

The heavens didn’t seem to be taking requests though. Only seconds after your heartfelt plea (with an added promise of good behavior moving forward to really butter up the powers that be), your eyes flew open as a rough voice you knew so well breathed your name. 

You watched helplessly as Bucky stepped out of the shadows to stare down the man in the black suit beneath you. 

“’cuk’?” You called, drawing his eyes to yours quickly. You shook your head dramatically as if to say; ‘Get outta here!’ 

Bucky shook his head almost imperceptibly and then turned back to the man below you. 

You started struggling against your bonds more earnestly and your seat swayed precariously. The hook it was secured to groaned alarmingly as the seat swung and you flicked your eyes down to see Bucky and the man so focused on one another, they weren’t paying you any attention. A dangerous idea filled your head. 

You closed your eyes, sent out another quick prayer (though the last one hadn’t worked so well, and you weren’t holding your breath that this would be much better) and you started swinging harder. 

“What do you want?” Bucky asked bluntly. 

“We know of your plans.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything and his expression didn’t change at all as he waited for more explanation. The other man twitched nervously as Winter’s dark eyes bore into him. 

“You will stop your plans to destroy the Network.” He said, his accent thickening in nervousness. 

Still Bucky didn’t say anything. 

You swung your canvas bag harder up in the rafters and watched nervously as the hook started to swing a little with you. 

“The Network will not stand for interference. The Network has almost reached completion. The Network . . .” 

The man cut off abruptly as all of your weight suddenly slammed into him as your hanging prison finally divorced the ceiling and dropped you to the floor. 

Bucky was by your side in an instant, pulling your gag from your mouth as he simultaneously pulled you to your feet. 

“That HURT.” You hissed, awkwardly hopping on one foot so you could swing a weak kick at the unconscious Swede. 

Bucky’s lips kicked up in an almost smile as he pulled the ropes from your body. “Easy, doll.” He murmured, pulling you away from the man. He sat you down at one of the child-sized tables and kissed your head. “Stay here.” He murmured. 

You watched as he moved to the prone body and aggressively dug through the man’s pockets until he pulled something small out and tucked it in his own. Then he was suddenly by your side again. He gripped your bicep and pulled you to your feet, pulling you out of the room. He pulled two pairs of sunglasses out of his front pocket and two hats out of his back, handing you one of each. 

You slid them on obediently and ducked your head as you came the sudden and startling realization that Bucky. Had. Been. Right. 

“We need to go.” Bucky said, ducking his own head as he pulled you out of the abandoned IKEA. 

You swallowed hard, struggling to make sense of the world you suddenly found yourself in. Your beautiful paranoid idiot had been right about the Swedes. 

What the hell else had he been right about? 

On second thought, you didn’t want to know. 

“Where?” You choked out in a high-pitched tone of voice. 

“I need to look at what’s on this drive. If I’m right, the Swedes are about to launch a solidified assault. We need to stop it.” 

Bucky led you to a truck in the middle of the parking lot and you quickly hopped inside. 

Bucky jumped in the drivers side and moved to put the keys in the ignition. He froze for a second before he leaned back in his seat and twirled his keys in his hands. “I know you think I’m crazy . . .” He started. 

You shook your head quickly and reached out to put your hand over his. “No. No I don’t. I’m . . . I’m so sorry I haven’t believed you in the past, but it doesn’t matter now. I’m on board. Whatever you say. I believe you Buck.” 

Bucky glanced up at you and sent you a breathtaking smile that was so full of hope you weren’t sure what you should do with it. 

He pulled one of his hands out from under yours, reached over and squeezed your arm. Then he was putting the keys in the ignition and pealing out of the parking lot. 

You were silent for almost two minutes before a thought occurred to you. “HOLY HELL, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER WAS EFFING REAL?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh what, oh what could they be up to? 
> 
> Nothing good, I'm sure. XD
> 
> Hope you guys are still enjoying this! I have lots of chapters to come.


	10. The New Sky Net

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from NevermoreBlack:
> 
> "Reader discovers that Bucky is planning to blow up the newly built, largest IKEA in the United States, before its grand opening only 50 miles away. (Think Sarah Conner's attempt to blow up Skynet in Terminator 2: Judgement Day.)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader BELIEVES.
> 
> That's gonna spice some things up. XD

You stared at your hands as Bucky wove through traffic like a man on a mission. 

“And the listening devices?” You asked. 

“True.” 

“No.” You whined, throwing your head back against the headrest. “The meatballs? Please not the meatballs.” 

“Sorry, doll.” 

You buried your face in your hands. “Life is a lie and I hate everyone.” 

Bucky chuckled and reached over to grab your hand as he cut another person off. “You don’t mean that, now, do you?” He pulled your hand up so he could press a kiss to your knuckles. You couldn’t help but smile at the sweet gesture as you ran a nervous hand through your hair. Your finger brushed against the scar at the side of your head and your hand froze. 

Your head whipped up and your eyes narrowed on Bucky who smiled awkwardly. “On the plus side, you’ll never have to wear another tinfoil hat again.” 

You pulled your hand out of Bucky’s grasp and pulled at your hair. “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“Believe it, doll.” Bucky grumbled, gripping the steering wheel with both hands before violently yanking it to the side. You felt half of the truck leave the ground. 

You clung to the handle above your door for dear life. "What’s the plan again?” You asked with tone of voice tipping more towards panic. 

Bucky regained control of the truck as it slammed back to solid ground and once again hit the gas pedal, picking up speed as he headed straight for oncoming traffic. 

You squeezed your eyes shut and braced for impact as you waited for Bucky to explain his plan. 

The chorus of furious car horns echoed as Bucky calmly spoke. “We’re going to blow up the new Network home base.” 

“We’re going to WHAT NOW?” Your eyes flew open and you turned to the love of your life with wide, crazy eyes. 

Bucky glanced at you before he turned his eyes back to the road. “We need to blow up the new Network home base.” He repeated calmly. “The world doesn’t stand a chance once the Network connects the base to the grid. We’ll be doomed.” 

You gapped at him like a fish before you remembered that this was the new world now. The world where Bucky actually knew what he was talking about. 

“Alright. We’re going to blow up a building. Yeah. Yeah. We can do this.” 

Bucky smirked over at you as you psyched yourself up. “Yeah. Yeah. Pfff.” You shrugged. “It’s just a building. How hard can that be?” You were aware that you were waving your hands around like a madwoman but you just couldn’t bring yourself to stop. You wondered, briefly, if you were having some kind of psychotic break. 

“It’s not that hard.” Bucky said encouragingly. “A few charges on the support beams. A few more in the control room. Bada-bing, bada-boom.” 

You froze. “Did . . . did you just . . . was that a joke?” 

“I thought it would help calm you down.” 

“Yeah. No. Yeah. It uh . . . were you a 1920’s mobster in a different life?” 

Bucky chuckled. “The plan, sweetheart.” 

“Right. Yeah. The plan. The plan to blow up a building. The plan with a . . . bada-boom. That plan. Yeah. Do . . . do you, uh, even have any explosives on you?” 

Bucky gave you a look. 

“Right. Right. You never leave home without them. Shoulda known.” 

Bucky reached over to snag one of your hands again. “Doll. We can do this. It’s you and me now. We’ll be okay.” 

You squeezed Bucky’s hand tightly and took a deep breath. You held it for a moment before you let it out slowly and put your game face on. “You and me.” You agreed, squeezing his hand. “We got this.” 

Bucky smiled at you before he turned his attention back to the road. 

Tony glanced up as Steve raced into the lab. “What’s the emergency?!” He demanded, looking around. 

Tony sat up from his latest project and pushed away from the desk. “JARVIS?” He asked. 

A screen appeared in front of Steve with dozens of clips of a reckless driver, swerving around New York like a psychopath. 

“What . . . what am I looking at?” 

“An emergency.” Tony resisted the urge to smirk as he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. 

Steve squinted at the images. “I . . . I don’t understand. Aren’t the local cops on the case?” 

“See, that’s the thing.” Tony said, finally losing his fight with his smile. “They would be, but this is a special case.” 

“HYDRA?” Steve asked, posture tensing. 

Tony smiled and shook his head. “JARVIS? Zoom in, will you?” 

JARVIS immediately froze a frame and zoomed in on a perfect image of Bucky driving with a gleefully murderous look on his face, while your eyes were squeezed shut in terror. 

“What the hell?” Steve murmured under his breath. 

Tony chuckled and pushed out of his seat to slap Steve on the back. “Looks like your Boy Wonder saved Batgirl after all. Gotta wonder why they’re headed outta town and not back home, though, huh?” 

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose where he could feel a stress headache coming on. 

“JARVIS? You have any ideas?” Tony asked. 

JARVIS threw a map up on screen. “Based on their current trajectory and previous conversations with Sergeant Barnes; I would estimate that they’re headed for the new IKEA store that’s opened up in the area. The Grand Opening is scheduled two days from now.” 

Steve’s head shot up and his panicked eyes swiveled to meet Tony’s. “What?!” 

“Scramble the legion, JARVIS!” Tony ordered, scrambling for his phone on the table. 

“I’m afraid . . . I’m afraid it’s too late, sir.” 

“WHAT?!” Steve yelled. 

“Even at their highest speeds, Sergent Barnes and Mrs. Winter are going to arrive before the Legion can stop them.” 

“Get Bucky on the line.” Steve ordered. 

“He’s not answering his phone.” JARVIS said. 

“Then get . . .” 

“She’s not answering either. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.” 

Steve closed his eyes and threw his head back, breathing in and out while he counted to ten. 

“This is coming out of your paycheck, Rogers.” Tony murmured, already adding up the zeros this was going to cost him. 

Steve didn’t say anything as he grit his jaw and ground his teeth together. “Get the team on the phone.” He murmured. 

“We won’t reach them in time.” Tony reminded him. 

Steve shook his head. “We’re putting a stop to this.” He said before he stomped out of the room. 

It was hours later when you and Bucky finally stumbled back home. You were both covered in blood, soot, and ash, but neither of you seemed to care. Bucky twirled you in the elevator before he dipped you low. “I’m so glad you see it now.” He murmured before he pulled you up to place a kiss against your lips. 

You gripped the lapels of his jacket and pulled him tighter against you. “Can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” You admitted. The Network was a serious threat if the bullet in your shoulder and the bullet dents in Bucky’s metal arm were any indication. 

Bucky grinned against your lips. “It’s okay. I loved you anyway.” He teased. 

You slapped his chest playfully as the elevator doors slip open and you both stepped out. 

Your smile slowly faded off your face as you took in the tense postures of the entire team as they stood in a line against the wall. A bold white banner hung from the ceiling with two arrows pinning it to the wall. In bright red letters the word ‘Intervention’ was written out. 

“What’s goin’ on?” You asked nervously. 

Steve took a step forward. Sharon squeezed his hand reassuringly. “We need to talk.” He said. 

A lightbulb went off over your head and you chuckled. “Oh. Guys. No. It’s okay! It’s all . . .” 

“Enough.” Steve cut you off gruffly. 

You froze. 

“Bucky was one thing, doll.” Steve said, turning his disappointed eye to you. “But you? I expected more from you.” 

You squirmed under his gaze. 

“The point is.” Tony said, stepping forward. “If you’re going to start helping Barnes with his delusions, we think it’s best for everyone if you two don’t spend any more time together.” 

You scoffed. “You can’t be serious.” You crossed your arms over your stomach and glanced at each of them individually. Most of them refused to meet your gaze. Nat winced as your eyes met hers. 

“It’s temporary.” She tried to reassure you. 

“Like hell.” Bucky growled behind your back. 

You nodded quickly and gestured over your shoulder with your thumb. “We’re adults. You can’t send us to time out and hope we don’t play together anymore.” 

Bucky nodded and wrapped his arms around your waist as though daring anyone to take you away from him. 

Steve looked a little guilty at the show of protection from his best friend, but Sharon murmured something in his ear and his resolve hardened once again. “I’m sorry. You leave us no choice. Wanda?” 

Your head whipped to the side, but before you could even tense, a red fog clouded your eyes and you dropped. 

Bucky following seconds later. 

Steve walked towards the two of you with regret in his steps. He leaned down and sighed. “Call it, Cap’.” Tony murmured, already summoning a suit. 

“She can’t be here. They’ll just egg each other on.” He grabbed the file that Sharon handed him with a weak smile in her direction. “Fury has a mission. Send her.” 

“Want me to play babysitter?” 

“If you can.” 

Tony nodded as he bent down and swept you up in his arms. He took the file from Steve and headed out. 

Sam came up beside Steve and looked at Bucky’s unconscious body. 

“What are we going to do with him? You happen to have another mission lying around?” 

Steve shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “He leaves and he’ll just track her down. Who knows what they’ll get up to then. He stays here where we can keep an eye on him.” 

Sam nodded thoughtfully and nudged Bucky’s leg with his foot. “He’s gonna be pissed when he wakes up, man.” 

Steve nodded. “Put him in the Hulk room.” 

Sam groaned and glanced at Clint who nodded. The two reached down and picked up Bucky’s limbs, swinging him between the both of them as they walked out of the room. 

Sharon wrapped her arms around Steve’s waist. “You did what you had to, baby. He'll see that eventually.” 

Steve shook his head and watched as Sam and Clint carted Bucky away. 

“I sure hope so.” He murmured. 

Your head was pounding as you slowly came too. You groaned as you shifted in bed and the covers fell off of you slightly. A bitter cold ate at your newly exposed skin and you jolted upright. 

You glanced around the unfamiliar room and a sense of dread filled you. 

Tony walked through the arched doorway just to your left and smiled at you grimly. “Morning, sleeping beauty. Coffee?” 

You took the mug in your hands and glanced around. “Where the hell am I?” You demanded. 

Tony took a sip of his own coffee and then smiled at you grimly. “Siberia. Welcome to the next three months of your life.” 

You were going to KILL someone. 

Bucky’s eyes flicked open, and he quickly took in his surroundings, compartmentalizing everything as he swung his legs out of bed and looked around. 

Steve sat in a chair against the opposite wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for Bucky to speak. 

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky demanded with a low voice. 

Steve pushed to his feet. “You’re out of control, Buck. I’m sorry. But you need to stay here for a little while.” 

Bucky glanced around the empty room and anger filled his chest. “Where’s Y/N?” He asked, deceptively calm. 

Steve tensed. “She’s on mission. You can see her when she gets back.” 

Bucky’s fists clenched. “Where?” He demanded. 

Steve stared at him blankly for a long minute. 

“Where?!” Bucky demanded again. 

“Siberia.” Steve answered. “Tony’s with her. They’ll be fine.” 

The fight slipped right out of Bucky as he thought of you, all the way out there, alone. 

He needed to get a message to you. He needed to warn you . . . 

“Think of it as a vacation, Buck. She’ll be back before you know it. But in the meantime maybe you can work on yourself. The world’s not out to get you, Buck. Maybe this will prove it to you.” 

Bucky ignored Steve as Steve let himself out. Bucky stared at the ceiling and started plotting. He needed to warn you about Chernobyl and Tunguska and Dyatlov. And he needed to do it before it was too late. 

He closed his eyes and listened hard for the sounds of electricity humming in the walls. “Just hold on, doll. I’m coming for you.” He murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that took a TURN I wasn't originally intending. 
> 
> How well do you think Bucky's gonna take the nonconsensual seperation?
> 
> Not well, I imagine.
> 
> How would you like him to react? Lemme know!


	11. The Chernobyl Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a reminder about Chernobyl from VickyBarnes92

You steadied your hands and took a deep breath as you lined up your shot. It had been two weeks in this frozen tundra and it was all culminating in this. Your greatest moment. 

You let your breath out slowly just as you’d been trained and fired. 

The piece of popcorn you set sail soared through the air and bounced off the glowing blue shield that immediately popped up to intercept it. 

You threw your head back and groaned. 

Tony glanced at you, unamused. “Are you done?” He asked. 

“Depends.” You said, sorting through your bowl of popcorn, looking for more ammo. “Are you ready to take me home yet?” 

Tony ran a frustrated hand down his face. “We’ve been over this, Conspiracy Junior. You and Bucky are on a break. It’s for the good of all mankind. We can go home when you and he have learned your lessons.” 

You tossed another piece of popcorn at him for good measure. 

Tony opened his mouth to lecture you again but the proximity alarm he’d rigged up started singing. You were on your feet and by his side in the next instant, glancing at the computer screens. “We got ‘em?” You asked, anxious to get out of this hellhole and back to Bucky. You hadn’t properly had a chance to apologize to him and after two weeks of freezing your ass off with no one but Tony for company, you had a very special apology planned for your human space heater. 

“Yup looks like . . .” 

You were out the door before Tony could finish his sentence. “Wait!” He ordered, frantically racing for his suit while you chased into the frozen wilderness alone. 

You didn’t listen as you plowed into the near blizzard like conditions outside. You grabbed your gun and took off into the night, unwilling to wait for Tony. You’d been tracking this gun runner for the past two weeks through every shady back alley and abandoned warehouse from Siberia to the Ukraine. You would be DAMNED if you let him get away now. 

You charged, recklessly through the town, following the disappearing footprints in the snow. 

Your breathing was coming in short gasps, but you heedlessly pressed on. You HAD to finish this mission. You HAD to get home to Bucky. 

You could barely see in a step ahead of you which is why you missed the distinct yellow hazard signs with the bolded name stamped across ‘Danger. Chernobyl.’ 

The footsteps you were following started to space closer and closer together and you pulled your gun out in front of you, quickly sweeping the area as you tried to spot your targets. A headache was forming at your temples and your vision seemed to blur, but you blinked hard and tried to clear your vision as you focused on searching for your targets. 

You thought you saw a flash of something out of the corner of your eye and you spun around, aiming your gun in that direction. 

Another flash of something appeared on your other side and you spun around. Nausea boiled in your stomach, but you pulled on years of experience to keep it down. 

You spun around again as you heard something clatter behind you and suddenly, you found yourself on your knees. A bone weary exhaustion swept through you and it was all you could do to keep yourself upright, as you aimed your gun in a circle around you. “I know . . . I know you’re here.” You murmured, your arm sinking lower and lower as you struggled to stay conscious. “Just . . . come out with your hands . . .” You collapsed forward. 

Tony shot through the sky. “Where the hell is she, J?” He demanded, searching his screens for any sign of you. 

“I’m detecting high levels of radiation, sir, you need to turn around. The suit won’t protect you for much longer.” 

Tony cursed under his breath. “How much you want to bet that she ran right into that?” He asked. 

JARVIS didn’t respond which was answer enough. 

Tony cursed again before he shot past all the warning signs, scouring the snowy terrain for you. 

“Sir, I’m registering life signs.” JARVIS said, throwing them up on screen. 

“Plural?” Tony asked. 

JARVIS scanned the forms again and confirmed it. “One is certainly our missing Winter. The others appear to be beaming directly concentrated nuclear radiation right at her. If she’s exposed for much longer, the effects will be irreversible.” 

Tony’s eyes widened in panic and he threw everything he had into the thrusters. It took mere seconds before he landed hard, right in front of your prone body, throwing a blast out of his chest that destroyed everything in a mile radius. 

“W . . . got . . . sui . . . mal . . .” JARVIS’ voice cut in and out as the pure radiation in the area started short circuiting the suit. 

Tony didn’t hesitate as he leaned down and scooped you up in his arms. He shot back into the freezing night and carried you back to the safehouse. 

He rushed you inside the moment they arrived and laid you on the dingy couch before he pushed out of his glitchy suit and scrambled for medical supplies. “Damn site is next to the biggest nuclear disaster in recorded history and it doesn't have any damn radiation supplies?!” 

He tossed the thing aside and scrambled back to the suit. “J. Can you hear me? Come on, pick up, buddy.” 

The comm system fizzled in the background. 

Tony cursed under his breath. “I’ll be back, kid.” He murmured, sparing you one last nervous glance before he shot into the sky. 

Thousands of miles away Steve walked wearily down the stairs to the subbasement. He rubbed at his temple where a constant headache had been brewing for the past two weeks. He’d left Bucky down here and then disappeared on a mission and he wasn’t looking forward to the confrontation he was about to receive. There had been no word on your mission with Tony and Steve wasn’t excited to deliver that news to Bucky. 

Steve sighed as he came to a stop outside the large cell where Bucky was being held. 

He pressed the comm button. “Buck? Can we talk?” 

The lights had been turned off from the inside and silence reigned. A sinking feeling filled Steve’s stomach and he scrambled for the external light switch. He flipped the lights and his palms slammed against the glass as he saw the sparking electric panel someone had ripped right out of the wall. 

Bucky was nowhere to be found. 

“Damn it!” He screamed, scrambling for his phone. “Pick up, Tony. Pick up.” He murmured, pleading with Tony to answer. 

The call went right to voicemail and a new sense of urgency filled Steve. He raced up the stairs as he left a frantic message for Tony. 

“Tony, Bucky’s gone. He got out. I don’t know when but he’ll be coming after her. If you’re there you need to get out. I don’t know who he’s going to be right now. Grab Y/N and get out Tony. That’s an order!” 

Steve hung up the phone and quickly dialed another number. “Nat? He’s gone. We gotta go.” 

Nat hung up the phone and turned to Sam. She smirked and held out a hand. He glanced at it blankly for only a second before the light clicked on in his eyes. He rolled his eyes hard before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Damnit.” He grumbled under his breath. “I was SURE he wasn’t getting out of that thing.” 

Natasha smirked as she folded the hundred-dollar bill into her suit and slipped out of the room. She knew there was almost no chance that she and Steve would be able to catch up to Bucky before he got to you and she didn’t intend to try. Keeping you apart hadn’t worked and there must have been a damn good reason for you to go along with one of Bucky’s harebrained schemes. Maybe it was time to let you tell your side of the story. 

Until then, she was going to lead Steve on a fun little adventure. It was the least she could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Bucky hasn't beat Steve up yet, but that's only because Steve got called away first. Believe you me, Bucky thought about smothering him before he left.
> 
> And Tony better HOPE he's still looking for radiation cures when Bucky comes looking for him 'cuz he was already on Bucky's shit list before this for reason's we will be exploring soon enough.
> 
> See you guys next time!


	12. The Second Tunguska Event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt by Fields_of_Heather:
> 
> "Tunguska event... in 1908, something caused an explosion that leveled 830 square miles of forest in Russia."

Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he watched a metal suit soar through the air and land directly in front of the latest safe house Bucky had tracked down. The Geiger counter in his hand went ballistic as Iron Man carried a shaking body into the safe house. Bucky grit his teeth together and stashed the Geiger counter back in his pocket before he pulled his stolen gun out and readied himself for attack. He didn’t believe for a SECOND that Tony Stark of all people had been assigned your warden just on coincidence. Tony Stark knew something. Him and his secret cult of would-be magicians. And now you’d been hit with one of the ray guns the KGB had been developing. Bucky shook his head. You wouldn’t be Tony Stark’s experiment. 

Bucky was just starting to creep from his hidden position when the suit burst out of the house again and took to the sky. On the mental white board where Bucky kept track of all of Tony’s sins, another tally mark was added as the man abandoned you once more. 

Still, though, it gave Bucky unfettered access to the safe house. 

Bucky didn’t hesitate another second as he burst through the doors, racing through the rooms until he found you lying on the couch. 

“No, no, no, no, no.” He mumbled, as he watched you shake on the couch. Blood poured from your nose and you were so damn pale. He fumbled for the Geiger counter in his pocket and his eyes widened in terror as he watched the readings start to climb. “Dammit!” He growled. 

He glanced around the safe house with desperation, but there was nothing here that was going to help the problem now. Not even the vaccine he’d stolen on his way to you would help. You were too far gone. The pressure inside of you was building and it needed an outlet. 

You were going to explode. 

Bucky fell to his knees and started ripping your winter gear off of you. He pulled off your gloves and tucked them in his pocket before he pulled off your hood and your beanie. He tucked the hat in his pocket as well before he pulled off your coat and tied it around himself as best as he could. “We have to go, doll. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He reached over and scooped you up in his arms before he rushed you out of the safehouse and into the forest surrounding you. 

Your shaking grew worse as Bucky carted you further and further into the forest but the only sounds that could be heard were Bucky’s steady breaths, the sound of his feet crunching in the snow and the ever-present crackling of the Geiger counter as it began to max out its readings. 

Bucky waited as long as he dared, getting a few miles away from the safehouse that Tony was sure to return to at any minute before he laid you down in the snow in the middle of the dark forest. The sun was just starting to rise, and Bucky could see in agonizing detail the way your skin stretched painfully across your body and the way that the snow around you was sizzling under the radiation spilling off of you in waves. 

“I’m sorry, doll. I’m sorry.” He murmured, stroking your forehead, well aware of the fact that you were beyond being able to hear him. 

You continued writhing as Bucky squeezed his eyes shut about you. “Please survive this.” He murmured. 

Then, he raced away from you and jumped behind a few large boulders, bracing himself for the inevitable. 

He pulled the Geiger counter from his pocket once more and counted down as the radiation continued to build inside of you. 

“Four . . . three . . . two . . . one.” 

A BOOM sounded behind him and a shock wave powerful enough to level the entire forest ripped through him, sending him sprawling forward as debris rained down on him. 

Bucky’s breaths were coming in short gasps as he pushed to his feet, terrified of what he was about to see. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hand curling painfully around the Geiger counter he was still clutching. He didn’t know how to feel about the silence it was emitting now. 

Bucky slowly turned and moved back towards you. He slowly climbed over the boulders, his heart beating in his throat as he pried his eyes away from the cracked rocks, across the forest floor, and to where he’d laid you last. 

Bucky nearly sank to his knees in relief when he saw you laying there still. A peaceful expression on your face as your chest rose and fell with each breath you took. 

You were alive. 

A sob caught in Bucky’s throat and he moved towards you. He reached down and ran a shaking finger over the features of your face, ignoring the small fires that were burning the fallen timbers in the area. You were okay. 

You mumbled something in your sleep as you shivered from the cold and Bucky scrambled to dress you in your winter gear once again. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” He mumbled. “I’m gonna get you outta here. Just hold on a little longer, okay? You’ll be warm in no time.” 

Bucky was just moving to put your gloves on you when he heard the all too familiar sound of thrusters firing. 

He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling your back flush against his chest as he pushed to his feet and started backing away. 

Tony came to a land in front of him and held up his arms in surrender as his face mask flipped open. 

“Manchurain Candidate.” He greeted, his eyes flicking from Bucky’s face to yours as your head hung limply in front of you. “Where are you going?” 

“Stay back, Stark.” Bucky growled, gripping your wrist with his free hand. 

Tony scoffed. “Or what? You’ll blast me? You’ve got your hands full, Barnes.” 

Bucky didn’t say anything as he traced your wrist muscles and his Geiger counter started crackling again. 

Tony sighed. “This is all very fairy tale of you, I get that she’s the sleeping princess and you’re the Prince Charming come to save her from the terrible witch or whatever, but she needs help.” 

“She did.” Bucky agreed, feeling your arm start to heat up unnaturally. 

“So, let me have her. I can get her the help she needs.” 

“You’ve done enough, Mason.” Bucky spit. 

Tony froze in his tracks. “How did . . .” 

The Geiger counter started screaming again and Bucky threw up your arm, forcing the muscles in your wrist to open your palm as he aimed your arm at Tony. He squeezed your wrist and a bolt of fire shot out of your hand, nailing Tony in the chest before it sent him flying backwards. Bucky bent down and scooped your legs up into his arms before he turned and raced further into the destroyed forest. He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “That’s going to take some explaining.” He murmured. 

You shifted slightly in his arms and he couldn’t help but smile. 

At least you were still here to explain it to. 

Tony groaned as he pushed himself up. “J?” He asked. 

The suit was almost completely dead. He reached up and manually deactivated his helmet, pulling the entire thing off of his face before he glanced down at his arc reactor. Or what was left of it. Something had completely melted through it, leaving a sparking mess in its wake. 

Tony threw himself back against the snow and groaned as he waited for backup. If Barnes was out, the rest of the team should be on their way now, right? 

Until then, he had nothing but his thoughts and the freezing temperatures to keep him company. 

Maybe volunteering for babysitting duty wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Bucky's got some 'SPLAININ' to do when you wake up.
> 
> How many tally marks do you think Bucky has on his mental white board for Tony?


	13. The Dyatlov Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from NevermoreBlack:
> 
> "A documentary comes on tv about the mysterious Dyatlov Pass incident. It which nine Russian hikers died in the northern Ural Mountains of Siberia between 1 and 2 February 1959. True story and very fascinating. Bucky gets really quiet and leaves the room. The unfortunate hikers stumbled across the HYDRA base he was kept in, (the one that featured in Captain America:Civil War) and they sent the Winter Soldier to kill them."
> 
> Altered slightly to fit the narrative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! It's been a minute. I've been busy updating other things. But it sure felt good to get back into the rhythm here!

You were being carried. It was the gentle swinging motion that woke you up. And the cold hardness of metal appendage, sinking through fabric of your pants. “What have I told you about moving me to new places while I’m asleep, Stark?” You grouched, keeping your eyes closed. 

You were expecting a witty quip about you sleeping in late like you’d gotten the last dozen times you’d woken up this way since Stark had grand-theft-auto'd you across the world. You DID NOT expect the rumbling chuckle that you knew so well. Your eyes flew open and you glanced up to see that you weren’t in Stark’s arms after all. 

“Bucky.” You breathed, a breathtaking smile stretching your lips. 

“Hiya, doll.” He murmured, smiling down at you. You flung yourself upward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down towards you to claim him in a bruising kiss. Bucky stumbled a moment before he caught his bearings and grinned against your lips before he gave as good as he got. 

Eventually, the need for oxygen far outweighed the need to reassure yourself that he was really there AND the need to mooch off his body heat and you broke the kiss. “How did you get here?” You panted, glancing up at him. “Stark said Steve had locked you up.” You reached a hand up to run a thumb across the dark bags under his eyes. 

Bucky scoffed. “And let them keep me away from you?” He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips. “Never.” 

You bit your lip as you smiled up at him. “What did you do with Stark?” You teased, pretending to glance around. “Or did you spirit me away when he wasn’t looking?” You wriggled your eyebrows. “Maybe that’s the greatest conspiracy of all.” 

Bucky smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Your own smile slid off your face in response. Bucky sensed the change in your demeanor and glanced around, looking for somewhere for you to sit. 

He found an upturned tree and he gently lowered you on the trunk before he took your hands in his. He knelt on the snowy ground in front of you. 

“Bucky?” You asked, a sense of nervousness swelling within you. Your stomach rumbled and distantly, you thought you heard something start crackling. 

Bucky’s eyes widened and he glanced at his pocket before he glanced back at you. “Everything’s going to be okay, doll.” 

“You’re scaring me.” You could help but point out as your anxiety continued to swell inside of you. That strange crackling sound seemed to be getting louder and more erratic and only added to the pure panic welling up within you. 

Bucky reached up to cup your face in his hands. “You’re okay, doll. You’re okay. Just breathe with me.” 

You tried to match his breathing as he guided you through the steps, but you couldn’t stop the panic from growing inside of you. 

You shook your head as you felt something welling up inside of you. “Wh . . . what’s happening to me?” 

Bucky pulled something out of his pocket and glanced at it before his eyes widened and he swore. “Shit!” 

He dove for the ground just as something burst out of your chest, and a BOOOM echoed around you. 

You slumped forward, suddenly exhausted as the light around you started to fade. You glanced around with wide, terrified eyes. 

Bucky was on his feet in the next instant. He reached forward and placed a hand against your cheek, tilting your head back so he could glance you over. 

“What happened to me?” You asked, voice timid and desperate. 

Bucky glanced around the destroyed forest, his jaw ticking. “It’s okay, sweetheart.” He murmured, reaching down to sweep you back up in his arms. “You’re going to be okay.” 

“I know I said I wouldn’t say this anymore, Buck, but I don’t think I believe you.” You tried to joke. 

Bucky laughed and leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll just have to prove it then, huh?” 

You chuckled against his neck and let him carry you off, deeper into the Russian wilderness. 

You woke up again much later. The sun was already starting to set in the distance and you were shivering in Bucky’s arms. “Bucky?” You asked groggily. “Where are we?” 

Bucky glanced down at you before he glanced around your surroundings. “We're almost to the Dyatlov Pass.” He murmured. 

You froze in his arms before you started struggling. “No. No, no, no.” 

You pushed out of his arms and collapsed in the snow before you scrambled away. 

“Sweetheart . . .” Bucky started. 

You shook your head and flung your arm out, stopping him in his tracks. “ARE YOU INSANE?” You hissed. “I MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN ABOUT MOST OF THE OTHER CONSPIRACIES, BUCK BUT I SURE AS HELL KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE.” 

Bucky shushed you as he squatted down to your level and reached out an arm. “Doll . . .” 

“I’m NOT going through Dyatlov! Do you not know what happened here? Those poor skiers! And the horrible ways their bodies were found! No! I’m not doing it!” 

Bucky lunged for you and slapped a hand over your mouth. “It was me!” He hissed frantically. 

You froze. 

Bucky nodded slowly. “It was me. Dyatlov was. The skiers stumbled on a HYDRA experiment. They were going to report it to the authorities. HYDRA started in Russia but they broke ties early on after World War II and the KGB would have stopped at nothing to eliminate the threat. I was sent in to . . . tie up loose ends.” 

You shook your head slowly and Bucky pulled his hand away from your mouth. “Oh, Bucky . . .” You murmured, your heart sinking at the look of disgust on Bucky’s face. 

Bucky shook his head and pushed to his feet before he reached down and pulled on your arms, pulling you up beside him. “I’m okay.” He murmured. “It was a long time ago. We need to move.” 

He grabbed your hand, and held it tightly in his as he started pulling you through the maze of trees. 

“Why are we going this way, Buck?” You asked quietly, trusting him to lead you to safety. 

You could hear the way Bucky was grinding his teeth as you waited for him to answer your question. 

“I need to get you away from Stark.” He said, eventually. 

You nodded your head slowly. “Because they’re trying to keep us apart.” You said calmly. 

Bucky shook his head and turned to you slowly. He held up the hand that he was still clinging to between you and rubbed it between his. “You were hurt.” He started. “Changed, really.” 

You swallowed hard. “Earlier . . . in the forest . . .” 

Bucky nodded grimly. “It’s going to happen again.” 

“I’m going to hurt people, aren’t I?” 

Bucky shook his head frantically. “No. No sweetheart.” He reached forward and cupped your face with his free hand. “I can help you learn to control it.” 

You nodded and let out a deep breath as you forced yourself to accept this new normal. “What does this have to do with Stark?” You asked, doing your best to stay calm. 

Bucky’s jaw ticked. “I don’t want him anywhere near you.” 

You were taken aback by the venom in his voice. “But . . .” 

“He’s a puppet.” Bucky spit. “And if he knew what you were capable of . . .” He trailed off. 

You smoothed your hands over Bucky’s chest and pressed closer to him. “Hey. Hey, it’s going to be okay.” 

Bucky stared at you for a long time before he finally nodded. He let out a breath. “Yeah.” He murmured. He reached up to grab your hand again before he gestured into the distance. “We need to go, sweetheart.” 

You nodded and let him pull you along. 

“Where are we going?” 

“There’s an old HYDRA base here.” 

“Bucky . . .” 

“I’ll be fine.” He murmured. 

You sighed. 

He turned back to you one last time. “Nothing’s more important to me than you, doll. I’ll be okay.” 

You studied him for a long minute. You saw the lines in the corner of his eyes and the tense way he was holding himself and you knew he wasn’t okay. But you also felt the temperature dropping around you and you knew that neither of you would survive a night in the Russian wilderness in the middle of winter if you didn’t find shelter soon. Super Serum be damned. 

“Okay.” You murmured. 

Bucky nodded and led you through the forest, keeping an ear out for the sounds of thrusters firing. 

Miles away, Tony groaned as a quinjet FINALLY came to a land in the clearing beside him. “Took you long enough!” He called as Steve and Natasha sauntered off the thing. 

Nat glanced around the destroyed forest with narrowed eyes and a sinking feeling. 

Steve helped Tony off the ground. “What happened here?” He asked. 

Tony glanced around at the destruction and shrugged. “Beats me. I got knocked out there for a minute.” 

Natasha glanced at him pointedly. Tony’s expression twitched under her scrutiny and her expression narrowed. 

“Well, let’s get on board, I’m freezing my ass off here.” Tony said, quickly changing the subject. 

Steve helped Tony back to the jet as Natasha took one last look around the clearing. 

“Shit.” She murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Bucky. He really needs to work on his bedside manner. XD


	14. The Illuminati

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from Grell_Belle_1945:
> 
> "Did you know, in the comics, both Tony and Dr Strange are confirmed members of the Illuminati?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're. Back. Baby.
> 
> Did you know I still have at least 13 requests to cram into this? XD Bucky better have some spare tinfoil hats available. I have a feeling we're all going to need them.

You weren’t thrilled. 

Technically that was an understatement. 

Really, you were freaking annoyed. You were also freaking out. 

Bucky was muttering to himself, completely oblivious to your slowly climaxing panic attack as he puttered around the long-abandoned former HYDRA base. The deep timber of his tone was normally soothing, but the Russian words he was speaking now were echoing off the walls in an eerie way that made you feel like you could practically see the history that had happened here. None of it was good. 

You had the strangest urge to strip off your clothes and run into the snowy wilderness outside. 

“Bucky.” You said, interrupting for the first time in almost thirty minutes. “Talk to me. What’s the plan?” 

Bucky shook his head and yanked open another abandoned filing cabinet. 

You pushed to your feet and took a few slow steps towards him, keeping yourself as nonthreatening as possible. You weren’t sure what mindset he was in at the moment, and you really didn’t feel like fending off your boyfriend after the hellish day you’d already had. “Baby, talk to me. What’s going on?” 

Bucky’s movements finally started to slow as he glanced over at you. It took a few seconds for the blank, almost emotionless expression to fade from his eyes. Then, he blinked at you a few times and pulled away from the cabinet. “Sorry, doll. You must be freezing.” He said. 

You shook your head slowly. “No . . . actually . . . I feel . . . fine.” 

Bucky pressed his lips together but nodded like that wasn’t an outrageous thing for you to be feeling after you leveled two forests and were in the middle of surviving hypothermic temperatures like you were enjoying a day at the beach. 

Bucky turned back to the cabinets he’d been rifling through. “There isn’t much here. They were surprisingly thorough when they abandoned the base.” 

“What were you hoping to find?” 

Bucky sighed. “Proof.” 

“Of what?” 

Bucky paced away from you and sat on the floor, leaning his back against one of the decrepit walls. He patted his lap and you wasted no time in settling yourself on it. “Proof of Stark’s deceit.” 

You choked on your chuckle. “His deceit? What deceit? Keeping us apart? I think we already had proof of that.” 

Bucky smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes, as he started combing his fingers through your hair. “No. Not that. Although we need to do something about that still.” 

“Then what?” 

Bucky sighed. “He's part of the problem. I’m almost certain.” 

“Which one?” You snorted. 

Bucky’s fingers paused against your hair and then slid across your scalp until he was softly stroking the thin scar he’d left there all that time ago. 

Your eyebrows rose. “The mind reading chips? Tony’s responsible for that?” 

“Not directly.” 

You sighed. “Baby, I love you, but if you don’t start explaining, I’m going to scream.” 

As though proving your words, the Geiger counter buried in Bucky’s coat pocket started beeping faintly. 

Bucky went back to stroking your hair. “The Illuminati is a clandestine . . .” 

You burst out laughing. You laughed so hard, tears appeared in the corners of your eyes and froze your eyes wide open. Even then, you couldn’t stop. 

“Tony. Our Tony is a member of the Illuminati?” 

“He’s not ours.” Bucky grumbled. 

You shook your head. “You’re missing the point, babe. Tony who doesn’t believe in anything besides science is a member of an organization meant . . .to . . .” Your laugh petered off as your words started registering. “. . . take over the world.” You paused for only a second. “Holy shit, he’s trying to take over the world.” 

Bucky nodded and tapped your temple again. “Bet you’re glad I cut your chip out now.” 

If you weren’t so shocked, you would have sassed him for the smug look plastered across his face. Instead, you were struggling to wrap your head around the situation. You were torn between wanting to laugh like a maniac, and hunt Tony down and slap him. Hard. 

You scrambled off Bucky’s lap. “We need proof. No way in hell Steve will believe us otherwise. The bromance is strong in those two. Sometimes I wonder if Pepper is the third wheel in the relationship.” 

Bucky nodded and pushed to his feet, heading back to the cabinets. “We had to quickly evacuate after the Dyatlov Pass incident. The authorities were getting too close but HYDRA had been . . .” Bucky glanced at you guiltily and then back at the aged files. “’Examining’ corpses of CIA assets and had found the prototypes for the mind chips. They’d been assembling evidence . . .” 

You nodded and moved straight towards one of the cabinets Bucky hadn’t had a chance to get to yet. You ripped it open only to remember you couldn’t read Russian. “Why now?” You asked, sliding the cabinet shut a little more gently. 

Bucky glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as he skimmed over a report. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, is finding this evidence really important right now? In the grand scheme of things?” 

Bucky turned his attention more fully to you. His dark eyes were dissecting as they stared into your very soul. You fidgeted under his gaze and the beeping from his Geiger counter that was becoming all-too-familiar sounded. 

Bucky snapped back to the present. “I don’t trust that they aren’t going to try to keep us apart again. We need Stevie on our side. The dick.” 

You smiled softly and reached for his hand. “They won’t be able to keep us apart. Not this time. I’ll . . . blast ‘em.” 

Bucky returned your smile and squeezed your hand. “Not a good idea doll. You’re more powerful than you realize. Steve might survive it, I’m not sure the rest could.” He frowned. “And we should keep what you can do quiet for the time being.” 

“You don’t want Tony getting his hands on me.” You guessed. 

“Not just him.” He murmured darkly. 

You nodded slowly and turned your attention to the door, keeping watch while Bucky continued his search, not that you were really expecting anyone to come for you. You were in the middle of nowhere for goodness sakes. Not even Tony could track you here. Then again . . . 

Bucky grunted and appeared beside you, holding a file in his hands. 

“Find something?” You asked. 

Bucky skimmed it. “Found enough.” He said. “Let’s go.” 

You snorted at him and gestured at the darkening skies outside. “I’m runnin’ warmer, Sarge. I’m not invincible and I’m not sure you are either, by the way. Let’s camp here. Tony will still be trying to take over the world tomorrow.” 

Bucky grimaced. He would rather have a chance to show the file to Steve before Tony got to him, but Bucky could see your point. Grudgingly, he nodded. “Fine. One night. We charter a flight out of here first thing tomorrow.” 

You grinned up at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.” You teased. 

Bucky’s eyes heated as he slowly turned to glance at you. A dark smile curled his lips. “I can show you something else too, doll.” 

Your smile grew to meet his. 

Tony shook his head. “I’m telling you. She SHOT me.” 

“You said she didn’t have a gun.” Steve pointed out. 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “She DIDN’T.” 

“So . . .” 

Tony jumped to his feet. “Something came out of her. It’s like nothing I’ve ever see . . .” Tony trailed off as something occurred to him. He scrambled for his phone and logged into his secure server as the pieces started connecting in his mind. “Can’t be . . .” He mumbled to himself. 

“Tony?” Steve asked. 

Tony shook his head, completely ignoring Steve as he continued researching. 

Steve sighed as he realized he wasn’t going to get anymore answers out of the scientist for now. He shook his head and headed for the cockpit. He slid into the copilot’s seat. Nat eyed him carefully. “Tony explain anything?” She asked nonchalantly. 

Steve ran a hand through his hair. “Besides the fact that somehow she shot him with no weapon? No. He said something came out of her and then he shut down. You’re welcome to try.” Steve didn’t notice how Nat’s hands tightened around the yoke. “Did you have any luck tracking?” 

Nat shook her head. She reached over to the tracking program she’d been watching closely since they’d picked Tony up. She powered it off before Steve could see the blinking signal hovering just over Dyatlov. “No. Their tracks were cold.” 

Steve sighed and his shoulders slumped. He ran a hand over his face. 

“They’ll show up eventually.” Nat offered carefully. “Barnes always does.” 

“Yeah.” Steve scoffed. “That’s what I’m worried about.” 

Nat glanced over her shoulder to see Tony tapping away on his phone. Her eyes narrowed knowingly. 

“It’ll all work out.” She said eventually, turning back to the controls. “One way or another.” 

Steve nodded and turned to the controls, lost in his own thoughts. Beside him, lost in a world of her own, Natasha Romanov started plotting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests are still closed for the time being. Lemme finish up my current plethora first and then we'll start talking more 'spiracies for Bucky to get himself wrapped up in. 
> 
> Until then, thanks for reading!


	15. The Doctor of Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this prompt from Grell_Belle_1945:
> 
> "How would his interactions with dr.strange go? Like the guy was a neurosurgeon, he probs put a few microchips into people."

You slunk through the streets of New York city like a common street rat in a stolen hoodie, three sizes too big and a baseball hat you’d shamelessly pilfered from the trash. You had headphones in your ear as you pretended to listen to whatever music passed for popular these days. In reality, your ears were glued to the surveillance feeds from inside the tower. Bucky, in all his tinfoil hat wearing wisdom had programmed a backdoor in almost all of Tony’s systems when he’d first moved in. It was a backdoor the two of you were thoroughly exploiting now. 

“You have eyes on the ports and terminals, right?” Steve asked. “I want to know the second they set foot on US soil.” 

You could practically hear the eye-roll in Tony’s voice. “Yes, Cap’. I have eyes everywhere. The second they get back, we’ll know.” 

You smirked as you slumped onto a park bench and carefully started tapping out a distinct rhythm against your thigh. Across from you, a bum in a torn jacket and a holey beanie grinned at you salaciously. 

You smiled back. 

“And what’s the plan if they do return home?” Sam’s voice chimed in. 

Steve sighed. 

“Separating them clearly didn’t work.” Clint offered. 

“I know. I know.” Steve groaned. 

“We could always give the intervention idea another try.” Sam offered. A tense silence followed before he spoke again. “I was joking! Geez.” 

Steve sighed again. “We need to do something.” 

“Maybe we should let them speak.” Nat’s voice suggested. Your finger paused against your leg and your eyes widened in surprise. That was NOT what you’d been expecting to hear. 

The cacophony of exclamations that sounded from the rest of the team made it clear that they hadn’t been expecting it either. 

Nat continued. “I’m serious. Y/N didn’t believe any of this, remember? Something convinced her. Maybe we should hear her out. She might surprise us.” 

You started tapping on your thigh again, faster than before. 

“It . . . couldn’t hurt.” Clint offered. 

“It might make them more willing to listen to our point of view too.” Sam agreed. 

You tapped furiously in morse code as it started to seem like the team was being persuaded to listen, but before you could even finish the message, you hopes were shattered against the pavement like glass. “You’re all wrong.” Tony’s voice was clear. 

You glanced at the bum across from you as you clearly tapped Tony’s name. Bucky’s eyes narrowed. 

“Whatcha got, Stark?” Steve asked. 

“I invited a friend of mine over later. He thinks he might have a more permanent solution to our problems.” 

“Yeah? What kind of solution?” Clint asked. 

“The kind that . . .” 

The rest of Tony’s words were cut off as yellow light surrounded you. The next thing you knew, you were falling through nothing and headed right towards a beautifully detailed wood floor. 

You yelped as your knees hit the ground and you fell sideways. Seconds later, Bucky hit the floor beside you. “Strange.” You grit through your teeth. 

“You know, I have better things to do with my time then track down wayward vagrants.” Dr. Strange said, walking towards you with that ever present and all-too irritating smirk on his face. 

You pushed to your feet and turned to Bucky. “Bucky, Dr. Strange. Dr. Strange, Bucky.” You turned back to Bucky. “Dr. Strange here is a neuroscientist.” 

Bucky was eyeing Strange with a look of disgust before but the second you explained what he was, you suddenly found yourself flying through the air for the second time in as many minutes. You crashed to the floor again, and scrambled up only to find Bucky pinning Strange to the wall with a knife to his throat. “Mason.” He growled. 

“Bucky!” You raced towards them and wrapped your hand around Bucky’s arm. You were about to start pulling with your entire body weight when you paused. “Mason?” You asked. 

“He’s Illuminati.” 

You hesitated. 

“If he was a neurosurgeon, HE put chips in people.” 

You raised your hands and backed away. “Well. Alright then.” 

Dr. Strange eyed you with annoyance. “You’re not going to call off your attack dog?” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why should I? You haven’t exactly been the most gracious of hosts and now I hear you’re trying to take over the world by putting microchips in people’s heads. I’m not seeing a reason to keep you around. Besides. He’s not a dog. You should apologize before he guts you.” 

Dr. Strange rolled his eyes and flicked his hands. Bucky was flung across the room, he crashed straight through several walls before he hit something a little more solid and fell to the ground. You started after him, but just as you reached the first hole, Dr. Strange snapped his fingers and the wall began repairing itself, trapping you rooms away from Bucky and all alone with the dear doctor. 

You clenched your fists together and swallowed hard. You could feel a pressure building within you and remembered what had happened last time you’d felt it. You prayed you could keep it together. You slowly turned around. 

Dr. Strange cocked his head as your eyes met. His eyes narrowed. “Interesting.” 

You licked your lips and tried to relax, but the pressure only grew. “What is?” 

He took a few steps towards you and drew his hands in complex symbols in the air above you. Magical yellow runes appeared around you, boxing you in on all sides as he got even closer. The pressure spiked. 

“You got into something you shouldn’t have.” He observed absently, looking at something only he could see. 

You winced as the pressure turned into a burning pain starting in your gut. You reached a hand out to hold your stomach and noticed how badly you were starting to shake. “Strange . . .” You started. 

Dr. Strange hardly seemed to notice as he got even closer to you. A sadistic smile grew across his face. “You have no idea how long it’s been since . . .” 

You tried holding it in, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t contain this. You threw back your head and let out a desperate scream. 

“Shit.” Strange spun his hands and dove through a portal only seconds before you let loose. Something shot out of you then, in all directions. Just like before, nearly everything around you was razed to the ground. You slumped to the floor, exhausted as the house groaned above you, balanced precariously on a few damaged pillars. 

“Doll?! Doll!” The sound of someone screaming sounded fuzzy in your ears. You weakly tried to lift your head up from the floor, but you couldn't do it. 

Luckily for you, you weren’t alone. Bucky kicked his way through the destruction you’d rained down on Strange’s Sanctum Sanctorum. He knelt beside you, the Geiger counter he was never far away from now beeping brutally in his pocket. “I gotta get you outta here.” He said, glancing around with a paranoid look on his face. 

You moaned weakly and he nodded to himself before he bent down and swept you up in his arms. He was just pushing to his feet when an irritated voice rang out. “Not so fast.” 

Bucky froze in his tracks as Dr. Strange appeared out of nowhere. Bucky snarled at him. “Out of the way, Mason. I haven’t gutted you yet, but don’t tempt me.” 

Strange dusted off his shoulders as drywall rained from the ceiling as though he didn’t have a care in the world. He flicked his fingers and a glowing yellow portal appeared out of nowhere a few feet away. “I’d like to see you try.” 

Bucky snarled and took a threatening step towards the sorcerer, but Strange simple surged his hands forward. 

The portal swallowed you whole. 

You squeezed your eyes shut and groaned at the nauseous feeling that welled up inside you and Bucky clutched you tighter to his chest in response. You could feel his muscles tightening under you and reluctantly, you forced your eyes open. 

Steve and Tony were standing in the middle of the Avengers living room, their arms crossed over their chests. Neither of them looked happy. 

“Welcome back, Buck. I think we need to have a little talk.” Steve said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeeeeell, I don't see anyone walking away from this without a little bloodshed. 
> 
> And Grell_Belle_1945, I think the answer to your question is, had reader not had a bit of an episode, Bucky would have tried to gut Strange. I wonder which one's faster? Him or Strange? XD


End file.
